Revelations
by Jade Eyed Cat
Summary: Beast Boy wants to move on. Terra's a thing of the past and he wants to get on with his life. He starts dating to get over her, but he's only in for failure. 7 in 7 months, the stress starts to show in missions, and a teammate starts showing concern RaeBB
1. 1: Unlucky 7

Full Summary:

**_Time to move on, right? Things of the past should stay that way, and life goes on._**

**_All the major missions were over, done with. Time to enjoy life, don't you think?_**

**_As the storyline goes---_**

**_Beast Boy wants to move on. The biggest evil he'd encountered in his life was gone; Terra was a thing of the past, and he wanted to get on with his life._**

**_Something was holding him back, and it showed in one failed relationship after another. Seven gone in a period of just seven months, and he was just about ready to give up._**

**_The stress of it started to show, and—although she didn't want to play a role in his life anymore, a girl of the past didn't want to see him lose it permanently either. In order for her to move on, she had to make sure he could as well._**

**_And she had one candidate in mind. Problem was trying to get the candidate to work with her._**

**_Which could prove almost impossible since the two had despised and distrusted one another when forced to work together?_**

**_As they say, trust is something that has to be earned, and it easily can be destroyed if one in a party decides to betray the others._**

* * *

Chapter 1: Unlucky Number Seven

The city had been quiet for some time. Most of the villainous sorts they had dealt with in the past were forever frozen and put away, and any that had survived the defeat worked on their own personal evil missions. One bad guy was easy to work with; it was when they grouped their plans together and fought for one cause that it became a menace.

With the lull in evil activity at that time in existence, the advantage of leading a more normal lifestyle was much higher, and they took great advantage of that opportunity.

Starfire and Robin finally got the chance to bond, Cyborg the chance to work on and build technology that wasn't created primarily for use on evildoers and keeping track of them, Raven managed to catch up on some reading that had all but been neglected because of past events, and Beast Boy—

Seeing as he wasn't the intellectual type, nor was he all that interested in achieving goals that would be considered extraordinary, he ventured on things of a more mundane nature.

Dating.

One date after another…just a total failure.

It was his way of moving on—dealing with the fact that Terra—a girl who had once had interest in him in a way that wasn't just an ordinary friend would later show up again in a subtle way and declare she didn't want anything to do with him, wanting to lead a separate life from him and the past they shared—was never going to be in his life the way she had been just a few years before. He didn't want to cling to the painful memories or the fact that she had turned her back to him forever.

But it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. And it started to show.

Seven months, and there had been seven failures worth of it, to be exact.

The last of the line of seven, the most recent failure—a girl named Lydia—had been a very cheery, sunny dispositional sort of girl who would laugh at anything, even the changeling's most pathetic jokes. There was never a moment the girl wasn't happy, or not happy to be with him.

She had gotten along so well with Starfire that they could have almost been like close sisters. Lydia got along moderately with Robin and Cyborg as well. It was Raven who avoided her at all costs.

Too cheerful, she had said of this seventh girl, too _unnaturally_ cheerful. And so she wouldn't be within ten feet of this cheerful girl when she was present.

But unfortunately, even the girl who seemed so well in tune with the changeling's odd sense of humor, strayed away, and all ties were broken off. It appeared that Beast Boy had been but just a mere infatuation for the girl Lydia, and she moved on to another infatuation rather quickly.

And so Beast Boy was again left to feel like a failure, useless to life. To be dumped by everyday types of girls with little in common was a common fixture in life, but to have a falling out with a girl who'd seemed so connected, so—in tune, practically the greatest match there ever could be---was very heartrending for him to say the least.

Usually seven was considered a lucky number, but this number seven wasn't exactly that way. It felt more like the opposite for the most part.

It threw him into a state of melancholy, his usually light humored mood darkened a bit with sadness, anger, and resentment.

It was like Lydia had been the last straw, and now they all were to suffer the consequences.

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It was a mild mission to say the least in the inner core of the city itself, at a bank heist being operated by a lone bank robber out for a load of cash. It was just an ordinary, everyday type of deal. Nothing to really get too overly worried about all that much.

What had started out as a fairly routine mission would turn towards being a not so routine mission halfway into it.

The criminal in question, an amateurish thief new to the profession of thievery and robbery who'd been identified as Steel had just emptied the vault of the bank closest to the home base of the teen heroes themselves when they arrived on the scene, catching him just before he could make an exit out the main entrance.

As usual, Robin gave the commands, and the other four complied. Not seeing the need for aerial attacks or any _'target and take down'_ maneuvers made by either the alien girl or the cybernetic one of the group, it was all up to more precise forms of attack, ones that could be pulled off best by the dark one or the changeling.

Unbeknownst to his friends, Beast Boy had been having some inner turmoil tearing at the fabric of his very being, as just the day before was the day Lydia took a step out of his life permanently. The signs of this turmoil were just starting to show, and they would reach a critical point during that particular mission.

Instead of even giving Raven a chance to work her own method on taking the thief down herself, he rushed in there, taking on the more violent form of a great green tiger, lashing out at the amateur thief in such a way as to almost bring on a fatal blow.

"BB, what are you doing???" he heard one of them—probably Cyborg—exclaim in pure shock. He almost went to deliver the final fatal blow, but wasn't given the chance as he was pulled forcibly from the now unconscious thief. It hadn't been the strength of the alien girl Starfire or that of the half man, half robot Cyborg, but rather the restraint of black energy that Raven controlled and possessed at will.

He showed the aggression of a wild tiger for a moment longer, resuming his own form after a time. That didn't mean that Raven was willing to break the hold of the black energy on him however. That would have to be at the command of the boy wonder himself before that could occur otherwise.

He struggled a bit in the grips of the black energy, trying to force his way free. All the while his friends made an approach towards him rather cautiously.

"Let me go!!" he screamed, but to no avail. Raven didn't let loose what bound him.

"What is up with you man??" Cyborg exclaimed at his changeling friend. "You almost killed the guy. We're only supposed to take down the bad guys, not decapitate them!!!"

"I don't know, I don't know!!" Beast Boy cried. "Let me go!!!"

"Can we trust you not to go on another rampage if we do?" Robin asked him a bit dubiously.

"Dude, I promise," Beast Boy replied, his tone not nearly as hostile as it had been just a moment before, sounding almost like his normal tone.

Almost.

"Are ya sure?" Cyborg asked him a bit uncertainly.

"Yeah dude, I'm sure," Beast Boy repeated, frustrated with the game of twenty questions given off by his friends. He saw the concern on the faces of the two who'd taken to questioning his integrity, and the sadness on that of Starfire's. It was Raven's that stayed rather expressionless, he noted, and he had to wonder why that was.

"Okay Rae, you can let him go," Robin gave Raven the instruction, thus giving her the reason to release the dark bindings that had held the changeling bound up to that moment. At the release of the bindings, he collapsed to his knees, not able to at first stand fully on his own. He eventually regained that, and stood up, dusting himself off.

"Is something up with you man?" Cyborg asked his friend, obviously worried about his well being.

Beast Boy tried to offer one of his trademark smiles, but it was only halfhearted. Cyborg took note of it.

"I'm fine," the changeling assured him. "I'm just a bit stressed. Nothing I can't work out." He smiled weakly, the best he could apparently offer.

Raven had been watching him from a distance, taking note of his facially expressed response to Cyborg's questioning and the lack of the usual wholehearted response in them. Something seemed a bit off to her about it, but she shrugged it off and was on her way.

The nearly incapacitated thief, now unconscious, was given medical help, and would later be transferred to the proper facility when the right time came.

Thus marking the end of another everyday ordinary mission.

But yet, it really hadn't been all that ordinary, when they would go back and think of it.

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Beast Boy secluded himself to his quarters upon returning, with much to think about and curse about.

"Why did I do that??" he wondered to himself aloud. "I don't have any grudges or anything against that dude I took out. Hell, I hardly even know the guy." He stared at the wall for a very long moment, and then sighed. "That just isn't right."

"Next time I'll think before I do something like that again," he told himself. "If there's even a next time."

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"What is up with him??" Cyborg exclaimed exasperatedly. "There's really no excuse for what he did. No chemical interruptions like last time, and no other thing worth using as an excuse. No excuse at all." He collapsed against the cushions of the big black sectional in the common room, digging for one of the many remotes in order to turn on and change the channels on the big screen TV.

"I'm sure there's a reason," Robin told him. "I just don't know what it is."

"Hopefully it was just a fluke," Cyborg said, shrugging. "Cuz, if he got mad at the thief like that, who knows what could result in my whooping him at a game on the game station. I really don't want to think about the possibilities."

"Me too, Cy," Robin said. "So—what's on TV right now?"

"Court TV trash, daytime talk shows, some great educational pieces on the science network—" Cyborg paused for a moment, stopping on a particular channel. "—And a really great music program."

"Turn it up Cy. I can't hear it."

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Fluffy pink something or others all around, with walls of a similar hue of pink all around and the rest of the interior made up of a solid pink shade, and Starfire at the center of all of the pinkness.

She cuddled a plush pink kitty, for one of the real sorts would not tolerate it so much. That and the thought of having to house yet another _pet_ at the alien girl's expense was not all that favorable by her teammates.

She appeared oblivious of the happenings of the hours earlier, of the attack made by one of her own friends on the menace of the hour, the thief they'd been working on arresting earlier that day. All thought was directed rather to another instrument of a muse—the great boy wonder.

Rather then think of unfortunate mishaps, she preferred ones of her affections. One thought after another rolling through her mind of various things she could set up for him and her.

But no matter the resistance of thought on the occurrences of earlier, she could not keep it out, and eventually it made it's way into her consciousness. No more happy thoughts of the boy wonder, for they seemed to have gone "poof!"

It was overwhelming—so utterly overwhelming—

"Beast Boy, " she murmured in a tone filled with sorrow. "What is it that has made you so angry, so much so that you would show aggression so unintentionally, and almost make it appear intentional?"

The overwhelming sadness of the events passed eventually faded from her current frame of mind, and she once again went back to thinking of her muse—Robin.

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Having spent so much of her existence fighting back emotion, restraining it so that chaos wouldn't ensue as a result of if it were to be loosed incorrectly, Raven was well versed in the practice of making sure things on that level didn't end up occurring.

It wasn't her own emotional issues that brought conflict to her mind, but instead concern for another with emotional baggage.

It wasn't like her to meddle in the affairs of others when conflict of an emotional sort was involved. She never wanted to. But yet, she was starting to wonder if Beast Boy might be losing it—

"No, I'm not going to meddle in his personal conflict," she told herself aloud. "It was probably just a fluke. It would be stupid to confront him on something that's probably petty to say the least."

She kept telling herself that there probably was nothing to worry about, that he'd be back to normal again sometime shortly, yet something at the back of her subconscious kept tugging, trying to tell her otherwise.

She forced it back, trying to go on with her usual afterwards.


	2. 2: Eluding Unlucky 7

Chapter 2: Eluding Unlucky #7

A few days had passed since the mishap mission, and thankfully the thief that Beast Boy had almost permanently sent to the hereafter had made a recovery.

There hadn't been a mission since then, thus giving them time to readjust and chill. Giving Beast Boy the chance to chill.

None of the team held their breath when another disturbance arose, and they had a mission once more. It appeared the not so bright Dr. Light was up to yet another one of his hair-brained antics.

Although he once had upgrades to his personalized gear, none of them were evidently used in his one-man crime spree. It appeared he had resorted to those that he'd been using since the beginning of them knowing him.

The mission had started out well; the exchange of remarks and threats, Dr. Light making his usual wisecracks that held no substance to them, and the proof that the dead brained villain wasn't going to back down any time soon.

Eventually the talk led to the usual actions, the threats held as spoken truth up to that point.

"Any of you in need of some light in you life?" the villain used his usual phrasing in a remark he made just before he was to loose his weapon on the titans and the undeserving public. A beam of bright white light shot from his hand in response to the question of his that had remained unanswered otherwise. Luckily the five teens were rather used to his techniques and easily were out of range when the beam was shot out.

An unfortunate store-building wall fell victim instead, sending shards of glass and rubble into the air after the strike. The air filled with drywall dust and debris, making visibility an unobtainable option.

Where sight wasn't an option for the opportune sense, hearing was well obtainable and useful. The villain's antics couldn't be seen—but they could be well heard.

Dr. Light had used the dust cover as an excuse for his getaway, but it didn't work that entirely well in playing for his cover up, for they found him just as easily all the same.

Beast Boy's sensitive hearing had helped in tracking him down, and they were practically on the villain's heels, unbeknownst to him.

Not given the chance to even enter his target bank for robbery, all routes open to him were blocked. Cyborg was waiting at the bank entrance, Robin not too far from where the half robot stood, and both Starfire and Raven kept watch from a higher vantage point. Beast Boy had snuck up just behind the villain himself.

"There's no escape," Robin said.

"Are ya gonna be a good boy and just give up, or are ya going to be the usually not so bright bad guy we have dealt with in the past and continue you crime spree, risking losing an arm in the process?" Cyborg asked Dr. Light.

"Me? Give up?" the villain laughed cockily.

"Yeah, he's the usual not so bright Dr. Light," Raven remarked.

What followed were a snarl, a flash of teeth, and the falling of the villain himself caught up in shock and dismay. Beast Boy had knocked Dr. Light off his feet, unannounced, to the ground and onto his back, the growling form of a green wolf hovering over him as he cowered.

"Okay BB, you've gotten him out of action, now it's my turn to round him up and drag him off to the slammer where he belongs," Cyborg told his changeling friend, who was still growling at the villain with teeth bared. "BB, you can cool it, I've got it under control."

Reluctantly, Beast Boy backed off, resuming his normal form. He seemed unusually agitated even then, without any really apparent reason why. Cyborg and Robin were too busy to even notice, Starfire also being equally occupied. Raven was the only one even paying attention to him, watching as he stormed off while the other three were finishing the mission.

Figuring they were fine without her help being needed, Raven followed Beast Boy at a distance, to make sure he didn't take his anger out on any unsuspecting victims for the most part.

He stormed down an alleyway, putting his fists into a trash bin that was just unfortunate to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. It took his abuse with only a slight dent before he moved on from it. Eventually he reached the dead end of the alley itself, sitting on the asphalt with his head in hands.

"Why did she have to—!" he stood up again, balling up his fists as he began to pace angrily. "Its just my luck!" he cried out in frustration. "Just my luck!!"

"Who did what to you that's got you so steamed?" he suddenly caught Raven questioning him from not far away. He didn't realize he'd even been followed—or that she'd even realized he had stormed off to begin with. She watched him carefully, her expression nonjudgmental, just questioning—curious, even concerned.

"Lydia broke it off with me a couple days ago," he told her. "It turned out I was just an infatuation of hers, and that she wanted to move on." He again sat down, cross-legged on the pavement with his chin caught up on his hands.

"Is that why you've been off these last two missions?" she asked him. "You've felt—betrayed and hurt because of it?"

"It's still so fresh on my mind, and with the missions just bringing my stress levels up to critical mass…" he trailed. "She broke it off so abruptly just before we headed off to catch that thief I almost eliminated permanently…I didn't have time to adjust—and yeah, I do feel a bit betrayed and hurt. And possibly just unlucky."

"I'm sorry she did that to you," she told him, a bit reluctantly. She'd harbored some resentment towards the girl and wouldn't miss her absence in the least. "There will be other chances. There's other fish in the sea. You'll find the right one eventually. It's not the end of the world."

"Yeah, it isn't the end of the world," he replied bitterly. "Just unlucky number seven."


	3. 3: Not The End—To You

Chapter 3: It Might Not be the End of the World—To You

Raven thought talking to Beast Boy about his anger issues would help him settle them in his mind, sort them out and get beyond them. They'd discussed it a little further past the comment on the unlucky number seven, and then went on to other things, regrouping with the other three post capture of Dr. Light.

Beast Boy had told Raven that he'd spoken to her about the break-up with Lydia in confidence that she wouldn't bring it up with the other three, that he'd bring it up when he felt it was necessary. She wanted to object, but she promised him she'd keep silent about it. A promise was a promise, after all.

The other three didn't even bother to question the two's absence. They'd been so wrapped up in Dr. Light's arrest that they hadn't even had the chance to notice their absence. When the group was reunited, Beast Boy just put on a façade with a smile to cover up any frustrations he'd been dealing with earlier, and they bought it without so much as a word. Only Raven looked at him with question, questioning his true stability behind the façade.

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Passersby had witnessed the commotion posed by the menacing light induced villain. It was a normal part of city life to witness that the city dwellers were well used to by then.

In the crowd, one passerby paid very close attention to the display of hostility the changeling held towards the villain, his baring his teeth as a wolf and showing his reluctance to back off when his friends had told him to. She had paid even closer attention to him after that, watching him when he stormed off from the scene and out of sight while his friends were fully occupied with rounding up the criminal and handing him over to the authorities.

She watched sadly as he disappeared from the scene, contemplating over a few thoughts that just happened to rush through her mind and bring her eyes to water. A minute river trailed down from her face and stained the collar of her shirt. Her eyelids shaded her blue eyes momentarily as she cleared them with one swipe of her sleeved wrist.

She stood still for just a moment longer, and then mingled into the crowd before she could see the outcome of the changeling's emotional struggles.

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Lydia had thought he was funny. Lydia had thought he was fun to be around. Lydia had enjoyed going to the carnival with him that one weekend it was in town. Like Terra had a long time ago.

Terra. Lydia made him think of Terra. Her pleasant blue eyes had laughed with the same kind of joy Terra's had when he cracked a joke. Lydia had a mop of blond hair topping her head, but hers had been much shorter, more like Raven's, but she still had resembled Terra nonetheless.

Had Lydia just been a replacement— filler, for someone else? Was that why it had been doomed to fail from the beginning?

Beast Boy had needed time to himself to think, going to his room to contemplate over his own personal problems he didn't need others meddling with. He still needed to work out his frustrations with his recent break up, question whatever it was that still needed questioning.

_Lydia could have almost been a clone of Terra's_, he thought in his mind as he envisioned his recent break up. S_ame blue eyes, same blond hair, same face—almost…they could have been sisters, in some strange way. _ He reached for a drawer close to him, opening it with a bit of a struggle. He removed a single photograph from it before he shut it again.

He looked at the photo, remembering the good time captured in one single still shot. Terra had smiled brilliantly for that shot, her teeth showing in her broad grin. The moment captured forever in time was taken just before she'd defected and turned on them, the times when they truly were happy.

Maybe Lydia had been her sister, or a long distant relative, or just a girl that was almost a carbon copy. The problem though was: she wasn't Terra.

Lydia was never meant to replace Terra—even if Beast Boy had tried to make her fill that gap. She was just an imprint of a memory, a number. Unlucky number seven.

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After returning from the mission—after Beast Boy had left the group to go elsewhere, Raven decided she needed to make a trip to the library. A couple books she had in her possession were nearing their due date, and since she'd finished them anyways…she thought she'd take them back.

She went to grab the books she needed to return, and then headed out.

The library was a couple blocks over from the tower, just about a ten-minute walk—depending on the day. That day was fairly average, not too many pedestrians to block up the walkways, or traffic to slow down the crosswalks.

She reached the library in just under ten minutes. She slid the due books through the return slot, entering the main space just beyond that point.

She searched for the section she preferred to check for promising material, walking up and down the aisle slowly to examine the different titles on each shelf. She pulled out a hardbound book that looked interesting, reading the insert to get an idea if she should check it out or not. The plot was interesting enough, so she held it under one arm while she looked for other interesting pieces.

When she'd combed through the section thoroughly, she took her newfound stack with her to a nearby table. She set down the three books before taking a seat at it.

She was about to pick one up to start reading, but something caught her eye that made her hesitate. Across the room, another girl was studying; a girl that seemed oddly familiar.

The girl had a gathering of friends studying with her. They were chatting quietly as they reviewed their notes. The one that had caught Raven's attention stopped chatting for a moment and just happened to look her direction. For a short instant a sense of recognition flashed in her eyes, a short moment where she fell silent in shock. The girl then resumed her conversation with her friend like nothing had happened.

Raven just continued to stare. Even though the girl had turned her attention away from her, she had obviously recognized the dark girl from across the room for just that one instant.

Was the girl just across the room from her, studying with friends—Terra?

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Beast Boy had been staring at that same photograph for quite some time, until it started to blur right in front of his eyes.

He knew it was useless to dwell on the past; he'd made every effort he could possibly muster to get the girl he thought was Terra to recognize him and want to live those same memories again. She'd refused every effort, denying she even remembered _him_.

The last time he'd seen her was when she filed in with other students in the hallway at her school, disappearing amongst the crowd of many. He'd never made any attempts after that to get through to her; he just didn't have it in him to keep getting the same repeated humiliation without any sense of satisfaction from it. He had to let her go; she wasn't coming back.

He couldn't look at the photograph any longer. It made him grieve for a time in the past he could never retrieve. It started to make him depressed just looking at it. He quickly opened the drawer again, shoving the photo deep under some other papers before shutting it once again. The recent breakup that was dwelling on his conscience was enough; he didn't need lost memories to drag him down any further.

He needed to put some distance between him and the photo, he had told himself. He needed to leave his room in order to do that. He'd have to dwell on his recent problems elsewhere, even if that had to be in the presence of noises and distractions.

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Raven had been quick to pick up her stack and rush up to the checkout line, not even bothering to stay and read one of the books she'd picked out. Just having a recognizable memory sitting across the way was unnerving enough as it was; she knew that the girl she suspected was Terra had recognized her, regardless if the girl wanted to show that fact or not. She knew she wouldn't feel comfortable reading with that girl being that obviously close, so she left to return to the tower to do it instead.

Raven walked down the street with her stack of literature in both arms. The thoughts just kept running through her mind as she went; _was that Terra? Did she really recognize me? Was Beast Boy really right when he said she'd returned?_ The same and similar questions stayed on her conscience as she made her way up and into the tower, to the common room just beyond the elevator.

The usual amount of activity was going on when she got there; nothing out of the norm as far as she could tell. The abnormalities of the library visit hadn't transcended over the norm at the tower; she felt thankful for that.

She set the books on a nearby counter as she looked for something to snack on in the kitchen. When she managed to find a decent apple to eat, she took it and her books and left the kitchen.

She went to the least distracting end of the room and started to read. She noticed from just over the book top that Beast Boy passed right by her. Seeing him, it reminded her of her run-in at the library. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on her book from that point on, she put it aside with the other two and got up.

Beast Boy somberly took a seat at the sectional where two other teammates already were, not paying too much attention to either as they continued their game on the Game Station. He instead was distant, distracted with something else entirely.

Neither of his teammates looked away from their game to even notice him, too wrapped up in the competition to really even bother.

"How could you win? I had you! You were practically a goner!!" Cyborg wailed distantly.

"It's all about strategy," Robin claimed, feeling triumphant. "You've just got to know how to survive on a little bit of strength and know how to take down your competition on just that."

"You were just lucky," Cyborg replied. "I'm sure ya can't do that a second time."

"You're on." Another round of competition followed, with the same amount of shouting, cheering, and determination as there had been before. It only seemed distant to Beast Boy's hearing, more like it was a few rooms over rather then just right next to him.

"Hey, is something up?" He was shaken to awareness, literally. A hand was on his shoulder, shaking lightly to try and get his attention. The distance between him and reality shattered as he looked over his shoulder to see Raven there, trying to get his attention.

"What exactly makes you think that?" Beast Boy asked her.

"You're out here, you're just sitting here—and you're not joining in the circus of shouting like the other two," Raven told him. "Which leads me to two things: either you're not interested in getting involved in that for your own reasons, or you're distracted by something. I'm leaning more towards option two right now."

"I'm gonna take you down this time!" Cyborg shouted.

"You wish!" Robin replied.

"So…?" Raven looked at the changeling, expecting an answer.

"I'm distracted." He got up. Without even making the two gamers aware that he'd even been there, he left the two gamers caught up in their own competition and headed to the kitchen, Raven trailing not far behind. She didn't say anything; she just silently followed at a comfortable distance. He went to the fridge to get something to drink, closing the door when he came up empty.

"Hey--since you happen to be following me, do you mind if I ask you something?" Beast Boy asked Raven.

"What's your question?" she replied.

"Did Lydia…remind you of Terra at all?" he asked.

"Terra?" Her voice sounded startled. She quickly recovered. "Outwardly…she slightly resembled her, but inwardly—personality-wise…the two were none the same. I'd say closer to polar opposites. I'd even go as far as to say that at least Terra had a real personality."

"You didn't like Lydia I take it," he said.

"I'm glad she's gone," she admitted.

"So...you're following me around, acting all concerned…is that all just a part of a guilty conscience?" he snapped at her unexpectedly.

"No, I feel bad for what she did to you," she retorted. "But I didn't like her. For the same reason I sometimes can't stand Starfire—she was too cheerful."

"I'm sorry I snapped like that," he apologized. "I'm still feeling a little conflicted inside about all this. I just…can't stop thinking about all this over and over."

"The reason I did follow you around—I need to tell you something," she told him.

"Oh?" he said. "Okay, tell me whatever you came to tell me."

"I was at the library earlier," she started. "And before you can say anything about it getting boring just because I mentioned the word _library_—just pay attention. I was checking out some books, when I swear across the room from me, I thought I saw…Terra."

"Terra?" He looked at her in shock, astonished—frozen. "Yo—you swear you saw…Terra???"

"She was dead on in appearances: same eyes, hair, everything. She could've have just been a convincing double, and I wouldn't have paid any extra attention to her. If it hadn't been for the fact that when she spotted me, she just happened to freeze for a moment, with obvious recognition for me written all over her face before she went on like the whole thing had never happened." She looked at him in all seriousness. "Just from that instant reaction, I'd definitely confirm she was Terra. I don't think a double would react the same, even for just an instant."

"Terra?" his world was crashing in on him.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked. "You look like a deer caught in headlights."

The inner pressure was breaking him—but not enough.

"I'll be fine Rae," he replied. His expression was still somber; he was never really good at controlling his emotions like she was. "I just need a drink—and a chance to sit and think."

"Okay…" she hesitantly started heading away from the kitchen, watching him with concern before leaving the room completely

"Terra," he murmured in a small, almost inaudible voice. He started to grieve as his world started to crumble in on him.

She had heard his voice, turning to see him as he started to grieve. She felt a pang of sadness at seeing him tearing up right there, as she just happened to be there to witness it


	4. 4: Terra Ephemeral

Chapter 4: Terra Ephemeral

Raven had seen Terra. She was the only other Titan who had ever seen her post stone statue, as a living and breathing individual once again.

It was reassuring to Beast Boy that she had seen Terra, but it didn't help him any. To know that it was really her—to have Raven practically confirm it really was Terra…it depressed him even more to know that Terra really had wanted to forget him. She didn't really suffer from a case of amnesia—

He held a glass in his quivering hand, a mini typhoon of swirling water just barely kept from spilling over. He quickly raised the glass and gulped the contents down; refilling the glass just as fast as he'd emptied it.

The last had been Lydia, the first Terra…

Why did it have to be that his relationships were always so short-lived?

RRRRRRRRRRRRR

She had been with a group of friends studying for an upcoming exam. They had gone to the library to look for the right material, gathering all they could find to one table they could all sit around. She had been in the company of three other girls, just studying and goofing off.

There had been a break from the conversation when she had looked up, eyes wandering across the room to yet another table with another teen. For a moment the room just stopped—time just stopped. An instant of time just dragged for an eternity.

The other teen across the room made eye contact with her, the same sort of shock and sense of recognition registering in her eyes. While she noticed the other girl kept staring, she made the quick decision to resume with her studies, and her conversation in progress.

The girl was part of the past she was trying to put behind her. She couldn't confront that life again—even if that meant making personal sacrifices. She couldn't be that same girl—that same past girl named Terra.

She noticed Raven had stopped staring, and instead she was hurriedly picking up her stack of books to check them out and leave.

_It must have been just as disconcerting for her to relive that memory_, she thought as she watched the girl walk out with her books.

Raven recognized her as Terra, but in reality, the Terra she knew didn't exist anymore. She was a different person, leading a different life.

But why did she feel like there were still a few loose ends she had to mend before she could completely move on from her past life as Terra?

She'd have to think that one over later. She had some studying still yet to do.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Raven tried to return to her reading, successfully able to block out the commotion that the competition between two gamers had stirred up. Every time she raised the book up and glanced at the pages though, mental images of Beast Boy in the kitchen and her run-in at the library with Terra kept flashing through her mind, making it hard to even focus on the texts before her.

It was possible that the ties between her run-in with Terra and the books she checked out at the library were the result of why she wasn't able to concentrate on the books in the first place. Maybe she was feeling guilty for telling Beast Boy about the whole thing In the first place; the whole Lydia ordeal was already wracking at his conscience before she'd even introduced more weight to the load—

She heard the shattering of glass coming from the kitchen. She knew all too well what had caused it, who had caused it, and why.

Apparently nobody else was even aware that a glass had even fallen to its doom in the first place; they were too consumed in their game to even notice.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

His hand had trembled so much that it had shaken right out of his grip and right onto the floor, shattering into a million pieces. All Beast Boy could do was stare in dismay at the mess he'd just made.

The fallen shards had scattered into the puddle like a bunch of tiny icebergs floating in the cold arctic sea. Cold, glistening miniature icebergs—

He just kept staring down at the puddle, frozen from being able to even react.

"I heard shattering glass." He realized Raven was standing there, obviously drawn there by the noise. "Need help cleaning that up?"

"Yeah," Beast Boy replied with a simple answer.

Raven was watching him closely, noting that his hand was still trembling. When he made an attempt to help her, she stopped him.

"I'll handle it," she told him. "You're still shaking, and you might just cut yourself if you even try to help right now."

"Thanks Rae," he managed in a low voice. She went to fetch a mop and a broom & dustpan while he just stood there, watching.


	5. 5: Just Trying to Pass the Time

Chapter 5: Just Trying to Pass the Time

A couple days had crawled by. Raven had been observing Beast Boy's behavior the whole time, noticing every time she looked his way he was in the same dismal humor. It was surprising at how oblivious most of the rest of the team was of his depressive state; Starfire was the only other one to even have a clue something was up with him, but she kept herself from interfering.

Raven wondered how long his fouled humor would last. It was starting to concern her more than it normally would have.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

How she had managed to was beyond her, but Raven managed to finish the three books she'd picked up that same day she'd spotted Terra. She kept expecting that she'd be too distracted to finish them before she even needed to get them back, but she got through them in record time.

To shake the memories they'd had the misfortune of having attached to them, she returned them as soon as she finished with them. She pushed them through the return slot quickly, heading off into the quiet space to look for other literary ventures to tackle.

She checked an alternative section to her usual for new material, scanning through titles and shelves thoroughly as she made her way. She found one massive title to tackle, and two much smaller ones to companion with it.

She dragged the hefty hardcover and two soft covers stacked in her arms to the nearest table she could find that was vacant. She cracked the giant novel open and started poring over the contents, getting absorbed into the story's plot.

She managed to get about a fifth of the way into the book when she was bumped from behind and distracted. Startled, she looked up to see who had the nerve to disturb her—and why.

"Hey, why---" she managed only that many words before she was shocked silent. The person who had disturbed her reading had been trying to push through between two chairs to reach another table, unintentionally knocking into Raven's seat and startling her in the process. It wasn't so much the interruption that had shocked her into speechlessness, it was rather whom.

Raven stared at the girl, and the girl stared back. From a distance, the girl had looked exactly like Terra the other day, up close she was more than convincing. It was just too condemning.

Of course, her reaction didn't take away from that; the girl stared back at Raven like she knew all too well who she was—and recalled the history attached to that as well. Raven wanted to question the girl about her identity and much more, but before she could even get the chance, the girl darted off and out of sight. Raven tried to find her, but she'd disappeared.

Raven was completely convinced that that girl had been Terra; there was no other explanation. She went back to her table and retrieved her books to check them out.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Raven didn't bother to tell Beast Boy about her second confrontation at the library. He was already pretty distraught about the first time she'd told him about.

A couple days passed since the second confrontation. Beast Boy remained in the same somber mood, leaving Raven to wonder when he'd escape it. She started to wonder what it would take for him to kick it.

She started to think over the possibility that she'd have to track Terra down, and get her to explain just why she'd chosen to exclude the changeling in her second lease on life.

In the end she decided she had to do it, because she had some questions of her own she needed answers to.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

She had definitely been recognized. Raven had been in fairly close range; close enough to get a confirmative ID on her. There were no chances of even denying that.

She had fled the scene as fast as she could. Raven was fast, but not fast enough. She managed to elude her in the end by entering an employees' only back room. After Raven had given up, she felt it was safe to resume her own studies.

She didn't need to be confronted outright in public as Terra, but she knew she couldn't avoid it forever. She knew her past would eventually come back to haunt her, but she wanted it done on her own terms—and within her own comfort zone.


	6. 6: Blend

Chapter 6: Blend

Raven had to really pull her resources together to track down where Terra was—where she hung out, went to school, lived—using the computer's databases as much she could. There still had been some DNA left behind from Terra's days there, plus fingerprints Raven managed to lift from a few places in her dust ridden former dwelling. She used comparative records with both to find a match, and eventually came upon one.

Raven knew she couldn't confront Terra on her turf; she'd have to do it on Terra's. In order to do that, she'd have to find a way to blend in; get an identity at her school, look like any other student going to that same school, and have a name to go by that wouldn't easily be recognized.

It was going to be an undertaking, but she knew she had to do it. She needed answers—and results.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBB

While Raven hammered out all the details of her plan, she kept up with missions and her other daily routines. She didn't need the others to catch wind of her plans—if she was to be able to execute it appropriately anyways.

She registered as a new student under a different alias to throw off any suspicions at the school she'd learned Terra was attending. She made up a few details about herself to fit her new profile, under the new name she'd chosen just for that occasion—Rachel.

She knew she couldn't attend a full day's schedule; it would've thrown her off course and probably blown her cover either way she looked at it. She'd signed as a part-time student, an advanced placement student who only needed a few course credits to graduate. It wasn't like her worldly travels disqualified her from them.

She also had to find a time to pick up a school uniform without drawing attention. She managed to find one by chance, and picked it up when she was able to.

Eventually all the details were pieced together, and all she had to do were attend classes.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Beast Boy managed to keep himself together through all the missions, not breaking like he had the last couple of times. He wasn't enthusiastic either though; he tended to be a bit more lax in fighting then he should've been. He just didn't have the motivation to put in his fullest effort.

He wasn't enthusiastic about getting back into the dating scene either. He just couldn't find the drive to even want to. _Why should I_? He told himself. It'll just end up like the last several attempts. Why do that all over again?

He wasn't really sure if he was more hurt by Lydia's rejection or if Terra's still stung deeply. Terra had been first, and her rejection had hurt him deep. Lydia had just been infatuated with him for all the wrong reasons—almost just using him—

Raven had been nicer to him lately, he'd noted. Was she concerned, did she feel guilty? Did the weight from being the only one aware of his breakup make her feel even more responsible for helping him out with his troubles?

Even if that was it—he appreciated it from her. He really didn't even feel like putting up a fight with her at the moment in the least.

Maybe it was time he started respecting her a bit more in return to return the favor. Stop pointing out her social issues to other people, and just not get on her nerves. Be a little more mature even.

Maybe it was better to take a break from the dating scene. It wasn't like all of his teammates were hooking up and leaving him to be the only single one in the group.

Chances were—he'd probably just make the same mistake over again—trying to find yet another Terra.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Raven looked at the neatly folded pile on her bed. She'd just picked up the uniform the day before, had it cleaned, pressed, and neatened, and then had just let it sit overnight without so much as a thought. It was resting on her bed after she'd set it there, wondering if she should even bother to try it on and adjust it, or wear it as is when the time came.

She kept eying the stack, trying to make up her mind. In the end, she picked up the neatly folded top and unfolded it, holding it outstretched and pressed to herself. Trying to remember the way the set was organized, she put on each piece properly, checking it over in the mirror just to make sure she got it right.

The set was a bit formal for her tastes, a rather blah ensemble in her mind. It would take some getting used to; she wasn't used to wearing skirts, or looser fitting garments. She knew she'd manage though.

All in all—even with its stiff formalness, she didn't find herself to look too out of place in it. Just find some way to tease her hair or—

She wasn't given a chance to really ponder it any further, as there was an intruder. She turned to see Starfire in the open doorway.

"May I ask why it is you are admiring you reflection in this new attire?" the alien girl inquired. She pointedly noted the uniform Raven was at that moment wearing.

"I'm just…trying this on, make sure it looks okay," Raven told her. "Is it that odd that I'd try something on?"

"Somewhat, but not particularly so," Starfire said. "I believe it looks nice. Is there any particular reason why you chose this piece?"

"Just something on a whim," Raven replied. "Okay, you know more about fashion than I do. Can I ask you a few things about that?"

"What is your question?" Starfire asked.

"What would be a good hair style to go with this outfit in particular that I can pull off with what I already have without adding to it?" Raven asked.

"Let me see," Starfire approached from her previous spot in the doorway to get a close look to give her an answer. "You do not have much length to your style, so there are not many options open to you. But—" She looked more closely. "—There are some possible options."

"Like—?"

" A possible small ponytail, I believe the style is called? The arranging of all strands in a binding?" Starfire made it seem more like a question than an option.

"There might just be enough length to pull that off," Raven agreed.

"What, may I ask—is the _true intention_ of this new...look?" Starfire bothered to ask again, obviously not sold on it just being an on the whim decision. Raven just sighed and turned to face her.

"I'm going to spy on Terra at her high school—and I needed a uniform to fit in," Raven replied. "There's something I need to settle with her—on her turf, her terms."

"Perchance—how do you know the whereabouts of Terra, and why in particular have you chose this moment in time to seek her out for answers?" Starfire asked curiously.

"I ran into her a few times at the library—and I did a little research in order to get her location," Raven replied. "As to why I'm going to all this trouble...it has something to do with Beast Boy being down and depressed lately."

"I have noticed he has been—off," Starfire spoke her observation. "I have been wondering why that is." She looked at Raven pointedly. "Are you saying his dismay has been in some way connected to his past falling out with Terra?"

"Yeah—in a way," Raven stated vaguely, intentionally trying to avoid the topic of Lydia being brought up. She had promised not to mention it—

"I find it admirable that you are going to such a length for the well-being of our ailing mentally teammate," Starfire said in an appreciative tone. "Have you spoken to Beast Boy about this plot of yours?"

"I figured I'd save him the anguish until after I confront Terra," Raven told her. "The first time I mentioned I ran into her—he almost had a breakdown. I don't want to see him do that again."

"Your concern is most gracious," Starfire commented again, this time following it up with a warm smile. "I am sure he will appreciate that from you."

"I'm sure he would," Raven stated. "Star—can you promise you won't tell anybody about this—not even Robin or Cyborg?"

"I can promise that," Starfire replied. ""When do you intend to start this venture—may I ask?"

"My first _official class_ is Monday," Raven replied. "A history course."

"I wish you luck then—and an appropriate outcome as well," Starfire said. "Do you need any more words on your styling in preparation?"

"A few." Raven turned again to gaze at her reflection in the mirror, trying to figure out what else she needed to bring up as an issue.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Monday came fast; faster than Raven had been expecting. Starfire had wished her well before she departed, assuring her that the other three were too preoccupied to notice her absence. She didn't need them seeing her depart; it would only have arose some questioning she couldn't provide answers for willingly at that time.

The hallways of the establishment were packed with the usual crowds of teenaged students and teachers. She had to file through slowly to find where she needed to be, while avoiding running into others in the process.

A few took notice that she was new; a couple guys even tried to stop her to chat. She didn't want to be bothered with their pointless conversation, but she was at least relieved by the fact that they didn't recognize her. The disguise was holding up, she noted with some satisfaction.

Another boy approached her, just like the few before had. Raven was about to easily brush him off as she had the previous set, but before she could even muster the effort, he gave her a vocal inquiry she couldn't bother to ignore.

"You new here?" the boy asked her as he approached her in that crowded hall, managing to push his way past the final group standing in his way to reach her. "You look like you're lost; I've been observing you for a while—so I know that for a fact."

"Actually—I am," Raven told him. The boy watched her with soft brown eyes carefully, smiling slightly at her response. "Do you know the layout of this place fairly well?"

"Yeah—I've been attending classes here a while," he replied. "Do you need help finding a particular classroom?"

"Yes, classroom 2b—history," Raven responded. "Can you give me an idea where that is?"

"My next class just happens to be the same one you're looking for," he replied. She sighed, relieved. "I can show you where it is—and you can tell me a bit about yourself on the way, like your name for starters."

"Rachel," Raven replied simply. "My name—is Rachel. And—who are you?"

"Nice name," the boy commented, his brown eyes bright. "I'm Matt. Welcome to our humble abode." He noted with exaggeration and a quick motion of his arm. "Our class just happens to be this way, classmate."

CCCCCCCCCCCCCC

The classroom was filled with the usual muffled snickering and gossiping amongst the students present. Apparently class hadn't started yet, as there was no teacher at the head of the classroom calling for order.

"There's no assigned seating arrangement for this class—so you can take a desk next to mine if you like," Matt told Raven as they entered. "The teacher's also pretty relaxed and cool for this class in particular. Gives a good learning experience without the cold strictness some of the other professors have made a practice out of."

"That's a good thing—I guess," Raven responded. She looked around for an empty desk out of the way, but instead she ended up redirected by her new acquaintance to one he chose for her.

"So—do you tend to slack off in classes—or do you actually study?" Raven asked him as she took a seat.

"Do I look like a slacker?" Matt looked hurt at the presumed accusation, but then brightened with a smile. "Nah—I'm here to learn. I enjoy it actually. I had it rough as a kid—and learning's always been a good outlet for me. I didn't have a lot of privileges. I'm actually kind of lucky to be in school at all."

"What happened?" Raven asked, taking some interest in wondering about it.

"I was just unfortunate," Matt replied, shrugging. "The family wasn't well off money-wise, so I just didn't have a lot of things because we didn't have the cash. While my parents are trying to get things together again—I'm lucky enough to have an aunt who cares enough about me to give me the opportunity to stay with her and get an education. That's my sob story." He took out his books and set them on the desktop, and then looked again her way. "So—what about you?"

"Not much to say," Raven responded. "My family life is fairly normal. The only extraordinary thing is I'm an only child." She didn't feel like stating aloud that her father was evil, her mother in a separate dimension entirely—and that her friends were her family. That would have broken her cover story. Going down the minimal—most mundane path was probably the best considering.

"So—do you tend to be a slacker, or are you here to actually study too?" Matt questioned her much the same way she had. That was an answer she could easily provide with no questions asked.

"I intend to study," Raven told him firmly. "I can't stand slackers."

"That's good," Matt replied. "I think we should get along famously."

"Hey class," an older male announced his presence as he casually entered and set his bag down by the desk at the front of the classroom. "Today's discussion should be fun. We're going to dissect some more fascinating aspects of the Revolutionary War." The classroom fell into a respective silence as the teacher situated himself and readied his papers. "I believe I was informed that there's a new student that been assigned to my class. Would that person care to introduce themselves if they're present—and haven't skipped?"

"I just transferred from out of the area," Raven stood up.

"That's great," the teacher stated in an upbeat manner. "What's your name?"

"Rachel," Raven again addressed herself as. The teacher showed no signs of being suspicious.

"Welcome to my class," he stated instead. "I hope you enjoy studying history."

"I find it interesting," Raven said before she took her seat again.

"That's great." He went back to gathering up his paperwork, readying for that class's study. Meanwhile, Matt tried to grab her attention while trying to remain inconspicuous.

"Do you have your course book?" Matt whispered to her. Raven shrugged and shook her head slightly. "You can share mine until you get yours—if you want."

"Thanks," Raven whispered back gratefully. Her first day was starting off well, and she was thankful for that at least.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Raven attended one other class after her history study. Matt was very informative and helpful, helping her find her next class even though he wasn't attending it with her. She asked him a few questions while they made their way towards her next class.

"I have an old friend of mine I haven't seen in years that I learned is also attending this school," Raven told Matt as they headed down one crowded hallway. "We haven't spoken in years; she moved away when we were just in grade school, and I wanted to get reacquainted. I just don't know where to start."

"What's your friend's name?" Matt asked her. "Maybe I can help you find her. I might even _know_ her."

Raven had to think for a moment. When she was searching through the databanks for Terra's info, she discovered Terra had applied under a different alias. She was trying to recall what it was.

"Her first name is Tara," Raven told. "I can't remember her last name—it's been so long since I last saw her, and that's one of the reasons we lost contact in the first place. I remember that she's got long straight blond hair and deep blue eyes. I don't know if she kept it long after all these years, but the eyes I couldn't mistake."

"I know a Tara that fits that description," Matt told her. "She's in my science class; we're acquaintances." He halted, causing her to come to a stop in the process. "Here's your next class. I'll have to show you who I mean next time we meet up. My science class is just before our history course. Stop by the labs before the bell rings sometime—I can introduce you, or at show you her to confirm if she's the right girl or not. Do you have a class before history at all by chance?"

"No—I have that period free," Raven responded. "It's just a free standing study period. I don't need that many more credits to graduate, so I'm not swamped with necessary fillers."

"That's awesome," Matt stated. "So—are you going to be able to survive this one all on your own?" He indicated her next class.

"I should be able to handle this on my own—I'm not an incompetent," Raven told him.

"I didn't say that," Matt replied. "Hey—if you ever need some more help with direction in this big place—or need a history study buddy, give me a call at this number. I'll be more then happy to help." He took out a piece of notepaper and a pen and jotted something down on it and then handed it over to her. "It was nice to meet you, Rachel." He then took off to his next class in a hurry.

Raven just looked down at the scribbled note on the paper clasped in her hand, noting that he had nice handwriting before she entered her next class to attend it.


	7. 7: Making It Lucky

Chapter 7: Making It Lucky

Raven returned to the tower with her three teammates remaining unaware that she had been gone in the first place on a new venture. Sometime after she had entered her room and changed out of the uniform back into her usual did Starfire stop by to pay her a visit.

"Was your first day masquerading as a student in any way fruitful?" Starfire asked her when the two were securely alone without anyone to interfere.

"I did meet a boy who I believe might know who Terra is," Raven told her. "I gave him the name she's using as an alias there and a bit of a description—explaining to him that I'm looking for her because we were old friends as kids. I didn't want to bother telling him who I really am—or what my real mission is—although I think I might enjoy getting to know him better in the process of finding if this acquaintance he mentioned _really_ is Terra."

"That is wonderful news," Starfire said enthusiastically. "Do you believe there is a chance you might try to make connections him—this boy—while you are on this particular quest?"

"I don't think so," Raven replied. "He thinks I'm some girl named Rachel—who leads a fairly normal life. He probably wouldn't take all that well to who I really am—or what my life really is like." She spoke it on a somewhat regretful note, but she shrugged it off. "Anyways—I've got his contact info if I need to ask him any questions, and he's pretty much volunteered to be my chauffer around while I'm get used to the place."

"It is unfortunate you have to put on a façade for this boy to get the information you need," Starfire said. "It would have been wonderful for you to make a new friend during this experience."

"Yeah—it would have been nice," Raven stated. "But I think I'll manage. I'm on a mission to save Beast Boy's sanity—not make connections."

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Starfire informed Raven about Beast Boy's temperament during her absence; she had made a point to observe him while Raven was absent. She stated that he had remained unchanged, not showing any signs of leaving his somber state at any point, but also not showing any signs that he was going to slip deeper into it. Raven took this into thought, and then went to check in on him to see for herself how he was doing.

He was out by the water's edge, lodging stones across the surface. He failed at skipping across the water's surface itself; instead they all just made a large clunk as each made their contact.

"I haven't seen you around most of the afternoon," Beast Boy acknowledged her presence without turning his attention to her. "Have you been cooped up in your room all day—or have you just been out?"

"A little bit of both actually," Raven replied, taking a spot next to him on the shore's edge. "Are you trying to skip them—or are you just tossing stones at random?"

"I'm just throwing stones for the sake of throwing them," Beast Boy replied, picking up big hefty rock and lodging into the surf several feet away. "Did you come by to cheer me up—or see what I'm doing?"

"Well—are you still having issues?" Raven asked him. "Should I be concerned about you?"

"I'm still battling with some inner torment—but nothing that'll destroy me for good," Beast Boy turned to her, smiling somberly. "I'm taking a bit of the steam out with lodging rocks and thinking about how Terra and I used make a pastime out of it."

"Do you still wish she'd come back?" Raven asked him. He looked at her peculiarly.

"Even if I did—I know she wouldn't," Beast Boy told her. "Plus—I don't think I could handle being hurt by her if she did—and then have her change her mind again later. I'd rather take a break from dating than have her come back."

Raven watched him closely, observing him and wishing she could just come out and tell him what she was up to. But she knew it was too early—and she didn't want to do anything prematurely until she was absolutely sure the timing was right.

Beast Boy picked up a stone and held it out to her.

"You want to take a shot at throwing one?" Beast Boy asked her, his hand still outstretched to her. Raven looked at him for a moment without a response.

"Okay," Raven said, taking it from his grasp into her own. Instead of just lodging it in a conventional manner, she encased it in dark energy, levitating it from her outstretched hand a few feet before mentally aiming it for the water's surface.

"You know—Terra used to do it kind of like that too," Beast Boy commented. "I sometimes forget you can do similar things to what she used to do."

"That's not a bad thing—is it?" Raven asked him. "That reminder—I mean?"

"Nah," Beast Boy told her. "I think—for once…it might just be a good reminder."

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Making sure that nobody was around to overhear or interfere, Raven picked up the cordless phone that was rarely used and started dialing the numbers scribbled on the notepaper in her hand.

She wasn't sure what she was going to say when she got an answer; she was just hoping he'd pick up instead of some other member of that household. The less people she had to speak to—the better.

"Hello?" she sighed in relief when she recognized Matt's voice answering on the other end.

"Hey—it's Rachel," Raven had to quickly remember not to use her own name when she answered—something she almost slipped up on. "Do you remember me from earlier today?"

"Yeah—I remember you," Matt sounded more relaxed from the other end. "I didn't expect you to call me back this fast."

"I needed to ask something," Raven said.

"What about?" Matt asked.

"I was wondering if we could meet up before your science class—since you stated that girl that fits my friend's description is in that class," Raven replied. "I wanted to see if she was the right girl or not."

"Was that all you called me about?" Matt's tone came off sounding a touch wistful, like he was disappointed about that prospect.

"I also wanted to say—hi, and tell you thanks for all the help you gave me for my first day," Raven replied, hoping that might cheer him up some without leading him on. "—And that I'd like to maybe…spend some time studying history with you to catch up—if you would like, that is."

"I would like that, actually," Matt responded. "If you're open tomorrow after school—we could go to the library and study."

"That would be nice," Raven replied. "So—tomorrow, science class? Meet you then?"

"Yeah—I'll see you then," Matt replied.

"Okay—I'll see you there then," Raven said before she disconnected. Just as she was setting the phone back on the receiver, she noticed Starfire standing there, observing her conversation.

"Was that the boy you made mention of earlier that you met at this school you are attending?" Starfire asked.

"Uh—yeah," Raven managed to reply. "How long have you been listening to my conversation exactly/?"

"A few moments," Starfire replied. "Are you sure you do not have some interest invested in this boy outside his usefulness in your mission to find Terra?"

"No—I don't," Raven told her. She turned her face away from Starfire's view, knowing that her face had gone slightly red and she didn't want her to notice that fact. "As I stated before—he probably wouldn't take lightly to the fact that I'm lying to him, so I know it's pretty much doomed to fail. So I'm not going to bother making more out of it than I need to."

"That is a shame," Starfire stated somberly. "I feel you might have really taken to his company with how you seem to have reddened in the face from my inquiry on the matter."

Raven turned to look at her in astonishment.

"You—noticed that?" Raven stammered. "I thought I turned before it was visible."

"Is it shameful to show any signs of affection outwardly in concerns of yourself?" Starfire inquired.

"No," Raven mumbled. "I just didn't want you to see that—that's all."

"Do not worry," Starfire assured her. "It truly shows that you are indeed human." Starfire then smiled. Raven just responded by rolling her eyes.

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Raven managed to sneak out unnoticed yet again, garbed in her uniform and looking girly in it. She again pulled her hair back in a ponytail, mimicking the style from the day before.

She had to ask a few people for directions to the science wing, which she managed to find without too much trouble. She spotted Matt standing outside the doorway of one particular lab, obviously waiting for someone—her.

When he noticed her approaching, his face brightened.

"Have any trouble finding me?" Matt asked her.

"I asked around a bit—but it wasn't that hard," Raven replied. "Has that girl made it to class yet?"

"Not quite yet," Mat told her. "Sometime she tends to run a bit late. She doesn't seem like the type who's too worried about being on time."

"Apparently—she and I don't share the same view on that one," Raven noted. "How long do you suppose it'll take before she shows?"

"A few," Matt shrugged. "The bell tones in a few, so it's still too early to say exactly."

_I hope this girl shows_, Raven told herself silently. _So that I can confirm if its her or not—and get this all over with, for Beast Boy's sake._ Outwardly she put on a smile.

"So…what time did you want to meet up later to study?" Matt asked her, cutting her from her thoughts abruptly. "And what library is your preference?"

"Four would probably be good," Raven replied. "Um…do you know the library that's located by that odd tower by the beach?"

"Do you mean Titan's Tower?" Matt asked her.

"Is that what it's called?" Raven feigned having no knowledge of the tower she called home, to further throw off any suspicion if any were to ever arise. "Yeah—that would be what I mean."

"Yeah—I know which branch you're talking about," Matt replied. "It's a good choice to study at. Not the one I usually go to—but it's quieter than the one I normally study at."

"So—study at four at that branch—right?" Raven asked.

"Yeah, that sounds fine to me," Matt grinned. The bell toned, with no signs of that girl that Raven suspected might be Terra showing up.

"I guess she's going to be late today," Matt observed aloud. "Well, I've gotta head in. If you have this time free, you can join in—see if the teacher would be kind enough to allow you to observe for the hour while you wait for that friend to show."

"Considering I have no class right now, and we have the next one together—" Raven paused for a moment. "It might be easier to just sit in and observe—and hope that she does show."

"I think my teacher should be cool with that," Matt told her. "She's pretty empathetic with new students, so she'll probably let you stay and observe."

"Okay," Raven said. He didn't respond to that, instead just showing her in so that he could introduce her and get her situated.

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The girl Raven suspected might be Terra never showed. Apparently it was just her luck that she happened to be out sick with the flu.

Instead of making something of it, she resigned to just making the best of the rest of the day, and then getting herself ready for her study date later. Matt promised to meet her again the following morning to go through the whole process all over again. He seemed fairly interested in investing his time in helping her out. Raven was relieved she'd met someone who she could get help from.

When she got home, she quickly made a change of outfits, resorting to her usual garb until she realized she had to meet up with Matt at the library shortly. She rushed trying to find an alternative, knowing that she couldn't show up in her usual outfit without questions arising from it.

On her way out, she ran into Beast Boy. She hadn't seen him coming down the hall and he'd been so caught up in his own inner thoughts that he wasn't aware of her either.

The collision sent them both to the floor, faltering and trying to get back up. When Beast Boy got a good look at Raven, he noticed she was wearing something different from what he was used to seeing her in.

"Is there a reason why you're dressed a skirt and a tank top?" Beast Boy asked her particularly.

"I just—wanted to wear something a little more casual for once," Raven replied, dusting herself off and adjusting the stack of books in her arms.

"Well—uh…you look nice in this," Beast Boy told her. She looked at him, abashed.

"Uh—thanks," Raven murmured in response.

"So—are you off to somewhere?" Beast Boy asked.

"Just the library," Raven said. "I—need to look at some new reading material."

"Well…have fun," Beast Boy replied. He somberly started off down the direction he'd originally been heading. She just watched him for a moment. Thinking to herself.

_I'm doing this for you—BB_.


	8. 8: Frivolity

Chapter 8: Frivolity

Raven made three more attempts that week to meet up with Matt during science, with that suspected Terra being a no-show. She learned from the teacher that she'd been informed that the girl was out with a bad case of the flu and by doctor's orders was told to stay in bed and ride it out.

Raven told Matt she was going to give it a week or two before she made another attempt, and she'd see him in history class. He seemed somewhat disappointed with the outcome, but accepted it with resignation.

Meanwhile, her three uninformed teammates remained oblivious to her class attendance. Raven kept Starfire informed with what she knew, and she kept an eye on Beast Boy when she was home.

His mood didn't seem to lighten too much over the week, although the few moments Raven spent with him to cheer him up truly did what they were intended for—cheer him up.

She had caught him three more times that week at the shore side throwing stones into the sea, and she had joined in with him each time. He made the Terra comment once more to her during one of those visits, which for some reason didn't seem to bother her.

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She had skipped school all week. She'd called herself in sick, which it was by doctor's orders she was to be bed bound. But—in reality, she wasn't sick. She wasn't sick at all.

She had been horrified to walk down the hall to her next class, only to spot _her_ standing at the door to it. There was no easy way to escape it—no easy way in or out while avoiding being seen in the process.

_She_ had been dressed up in the school uniform—looking like any other student who attended classes. _She_ had been chatting with a boy from her class—one she was familiar with. How_ she _had managed to discover that was her classroom, she had no clue. She just knew she'd have to avoid classes until things blew over and that _girl_ gave up.

She did have to hand it to Raven though—she knew how to search for something and know just what direction she needed to head. She definitely was persistent.

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A week had passed since Raven gave up attempting to catch Terra in the hall. She got the sense the girl knew she was there, and was purposely skipping class to avoid her. Raven was patient; she'd give it time and then try again when Terra was most unaware.

She'd finally managed to get a copy of the history text she needed for that course; the teacher for that course had managed to find an extra copy lying around for her. As a result, she probably wouldn't need to keep up study dates with Matt to keep current on the materials, but for some reason, she bothered to keep up with them regardless.

To keep her disguise going, Raven had gone shopping for some pieces to add to her wardrobe for those _dates_, with some help from Starfire. When Robin had to question the reasoning behind it, both girls just stated it was to get in some girls only time—outside the tower. Robin didn't try to understand it—he just accepted it.

All the while, the three guys remained oblivious to the plans the girls had set in motion, and the girls didn't bother to tell them.

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Yet another day without any success of finding Terra, and Raven knew her attendance issues would hurt her grades greatly due to her deliberate absences. At any rate though, Raven wasn't concerned about that fact—it was Terra's decision to mar her education's integrity with tardiness and absences.

She met up with Matt yet again at the library right after school, picking something from her new wardrobe for the occasion. As a cover for her guise of a routine trip to anyone who noticed her departure outside of Starfire, Raven brought with her a few books she'd checked out that were due to be returned.

She again ran into Beast Boy on her way out. He still carried the same somber mood as usual, but he seemed somewhat brightened on running into her by chance.

"Going to the library again?" Beast Boy asked as he noticed the stack of materials and texts she had with her.

"Uh—yeah," Raven replied simply.

"Is there a reason why you dress up for every visit you've made there lately?" Beast Boy asked her curiously.

"I just—thought I needed a change for once." Raven's response was pretty vague, and she was hoping he'd accept that without further questioning. She wasn't exactly up to telling him the truth about her plans just yet.

Apparently, Beast Boy did accept the answer she gave him without questioning it, but he didn't look like he was completely satisfied with the answer.

"Well—have fun looking at books, I guess," Beast Boy instead replied with. He resumed going on his way to whatever destination he was previously set on. She just watched him silently for a moment, partially regretting that she was being only half truthful with him. The thought of Matt waiting up for her occurred to her consciousness, so she headed out as she had planned to.

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Matt was already at the library when Raven arrived. He had his attention focused on a book resting on the table before him. When he noticed her presence, he looked up, smiling.

"I thought you tended to be punctual with your timing," Matt told her. "You ran a bit late."

"I got caught up in something before I got here that slowed me down," Raven stated, setting her stack of texts on the table and taking a seat right beside him.

"That kind of thing happens," Matt said, shrugging. "At least you showed."

"What section are we supposed to be covering again?" Raven asked him. "I can't quite remember where we need to study from in this."

"Pages 125 through 146, Chapter 12," Matt told her.

"Yeah—right, the chapter on American history after they gained their freedom from England during the war," Raven noted, taking the proper text out so she could leaf through it to the right chapter.

"You know—I didn't get to mentioning this before—but…I wanted you to know I think you're pretty," Matt said, catching Raven off guard and staring at him.

"Huh?" Raven exclaimed, her expression mixed in shock and confusion.

"You're a pretty girl—that's what I said," Matt restated. "Haven't you ever been told that by anyone?"

"I'm not sure—I don't recall any times anyways," Raven told him. "I don't go fishing for compliments though—so that might be why."

"Genuine girls don't have to," Matt said.

Raven wasn't quite sure why she appreciated that compliment so much; she just knew she enjoyed hearing it. Her concentration was focused away from her studies, and instead was focused on him. She knew her face was rouge tinted, but at that moment she didn't care. He was smiling; satisfied obviously at the acknowledgement of her expressive response to the compliment he gave her. Unconsciously she responded to his actions as he was leaning in closer to her. She temporarily had no control of her own comprehension, caught in confusion as they made contact with each other and he was kissing her.

Raven closed her eyes without even thinking about it. Her mind was in such a daze she really didn't have the mind to think coherently. When he eventually pulled away from her, he noticed how shocked she was by his action.

"Don't tell me you've never been kissed before," Matt said to her.

"No—actually, I haven't," Raven admitted. She was very certain her face was deeply rouged at that moment; she could feel the warmth on her face that made it evident.

"That's surprising," Matt commented. "For someone who's never done it before—you're a pretty damn good kisser."

Raven knew the extent of the redness to her face had been reached; she knew she couldn't blush any more deeply than she was just then.

"Shouldn't we get back to our studies?" Raven reminded him, looking at him bashfully.

"In a bit," Matt replied. Without any warning, he leaned in close to her again, catching her off guard yet again as he moved in to kiss her again.

Surprisingly to her—she made no motion to object to his actions. She just found herself complying with them.

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Raven knew even after they had parted company and she returned to the tower for the night that she was still blushing slightly from what had happened at the library. She was still in too deep a shock to comprehend what had happened completely—and why.

She immediately headed up to her room, hoping to avoid any of her friends so they wouldn't see her in that state. She wasn't quite prepared to confront them and try to explain just why she was red in the face.

"He—kissed me," Raven wondered aloud, still trying to make sense of it in her mind. "Why—did he kiss me?"

_That wasn't part of the plan,_ she told herself_. I'm supposed to be in this to help save Beast Boy's sanity by finding Terra. I shouldn't be kissing boys I hardly know right now!_

She hadn't been very successful with her original plan up to that point; she still hadn't spotted Terra in that school since she started classes there. She had had more success in getting her first kiss from a boy—and that wasn't even a goal she was set on achieving anytime soon. She felt frustrated with herself for being

so frivolous and not so set with the real mission she was there for to begin with.

Starfire showed up a short time later. Raven allowed her in; she felt she needed to talk to someone anyways, and Starfire was the closest she had to confide in the kind of conversation she intended to bring up.

"Have you had any success in discovering Terra at the school you have been attending to find her?" Starfire asked her after the door closed behind her.

"No—I haven't had any luck in that department," Raven told her. She felt uneasy and embarrassed to bring it up, but she knew she eventually would. "Um…something else has happened that I wasn't expecting—and isn't part of my plan—that I think I need to talk to someone about to clear up my conscience a bit."

"What has occurred that is miring up your conscience?" Starfire asked her. "Is it something of a hurtful nature?"

"No—it's more just something of a sensitive nature," Raven averted her eyes. "That boy I met at the school that's been helping me out with this Terra thing—Matt, he—uh…kissed me while were at the library studying earlier."

"What about that is particularly conflicting you?" Starfire asked her.

"The thing is—I don't know," Raven admitted. "I'm not sure if it's because he thinks I'm somebody else—and the fact that it's all a façade kind of ruins it, that it's not part of my mission and I feel like I'm straying too much by trying to get something out of this for myself, or if it's just the fact that it was my first—and I'm just feeling off because of that fact."

"Or is it possible you don't care enough about this boy to get involved with him in any form outside of just getting his assistance?" Starfire pointed out.

"Star—I don't even know the answer to that," Raven also admitted. "If there's even a chance I might like him—it was still too early for me to get to that level in the first place. I prefer not to get into relationships frivolously. It's just not who I am."

"I do not really know what kind of advice I could give on this, I must apologize," Starfire said.

"You don't have to apologize," Raven told her. "I didn't expect you to give me advice—I just needed to get my frustrations about this out to someone else—and it's not like I could tell the guys about it for a couple of obvious reasons."

"Do you intend to keep meeting up with this boy—Matt, in the future?" Starfire

asked her.

"He's my only key to finding Terra—so any way I look at it, I don't think I could just stop meeting up with him altogether," Raven stated. "I'll just have to make an effort to not lead him on—and avoid making any form of suggestion to him other then just advice on finding an _old friend_."


	9. 9: Embarrassment

Chapter 9: Embarrassment

Raven found Beast Boy yet again on the shore tossing stones into the water. He'd apparently made a habit of it; why—she didn't know. Possibly memories?

The sky overhead was charcoal gray, lit only with pinpricks of lights that accounted for stars and the illumination from the city itself. The moon didn't show its face that night, leaving everything in an extra layer of shadows than usual.

"Are you making a habit out of this?" Raven asked as she reached him on the shore side. He looked up at her.

"It keeps me sane," Beast Boy stated with a shrug. "Hey Rae—I've been meaning to ask—what have you been up to lately?"

"What do you mean exactly?" Raven joined him, sitting cross-legged right beside him.

"You haven't been around a lot in the afternoon lately," Beast Boy replied. "Something going on with you or something?"

"I—just got into a new hobby at the library lately," Raven replied. "That's all."

"Taking up a day job there?" Beast Boy asked her.

"No." They both fell silent for a time. He continued to throw stones into the water. He picked one up and extended it out her.

"Care to take a shot?" Beast Boy asked her. Raven just nodded, taking the stone from his grasp.

"I think taking a break from dating has actually been refreshing," Beast Boy spoke up. "It makes me appreciate moments like this even more."

"Are you still in a somber mood though?" Raven asked him. He just nodded slightly.

"Except during moments like this," Beast Boy told her. "I'm happy during moments like this."

"Are you still bothered by my spotting Terra at the library that time a few weeks ago?" Raven asked him. His expression was struck with a painful note on the mention of Terra.

"A little bit," Beast Boy murmured while looking out towards the water. His reaction to her question and the answer he gave her had Raven looking at him poignantly.

"I wish I had the answers to help you through this," Raven told him. He looked at her then, just smiling sadly.

"I really appreciate that sentiment, Rae," Beast Boy replied. Raven could sense he was being genuine with his response. She smiled at that fact.

CCCCCCCCCC

The conversation she'd had with Beast Boy the previous night by the shore side made Raven more desperate to find Terra and confront her. She started considering alternate routes to getting assistance from Matt. She was still having a bit of trouble dealing with that _study date_ incident at the library the day before—so she wasn't so sure she was ready to confront Matt all that much just yet until she felt more settled about it.

While she made her way through the hallways towards her history class, Raven noticed a couple girls were looking at her, giggling for some strange reason she couldn't quite comprehend. She arched one eyebrow as she looked at them, and then continued on to her class.

_I wonder what those girls thought was so funny about me?_ She wondered to herself as she shuffled through the crowded hallways_. Is there something I missed—or is it possible I made an error with my wardrobe somehow?_

Raven didn't bother to ponder it over for long; she figured it was no big deal—that those girls were just immature.

"Did you hear about the new girl making out with Matthew at the library yesterday?" Raven just managed to hear the harsh whispering in the hallways—the product of gossipers. When she realized that she was the _new girl_ mentioned in their gossiping, she started looking around for the culprit. All she got as a result was pretty much a sense of embarrassment washing over her.

She forgot that high school was a cruel place; that students tended to live off of rumors and other classmates' misfortunes for some kind of pleasure. She could feel her face getting warm again, which she shielded by bringing her texts up closer to her face. She hoped it would blow over soon. She was already embarrassed enough by it.

Raven managed to find her class without running into too many more cases of gossipers and silly gigglers at her expense. She quickly took a seat at a desk towards the back of the room, not bothering to see if Matt was in the next one over or not.

Raven sighed in relief as the bell toned and marked the beginning of class. The teacher immediately began his lecture, giving none in his class a chance to add more fuel to the gossip. She spotted Matt across the room looking at her in puzzlement; she just turned away and concentrated on the teacher's lecturing.

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Transitioning into her next class didn't fare any better for Raven as she hurriedly made her way through the halls towards her next class. She caught a few more girls looking her way, giggling, and a few bits of conversation about _the new girl's make out session_.

Now she knew why she didn't care about taking part in frivolous relationships. The embarrassment was almost more than she could take. She really wanted to just get her mission over quickly so she could go back to her normal life—and get away from the gossipers.

She bitterly thought about Terra getting a kick out of her predicament. Raven was sure that somewhere, Terra had heard all about it—and knew exactly whom the gossip was about. That thought just soured her mood even further.

Raven was really hoping her next course would go by fast, just so she could escape all the gossip.

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"Hey—did you hear about the new girl and Matthew?"

She had been tapped on the shoulder by a friend of hers, trying to get her attention for some reason. She only barely acknowledged what her friend had said to her.

"What? Do you think you can repeat that? I wasn't paying attention the first time."

"I said—did you hear about the new girl and Matthew?" her friend repeated, her tone coming off a little bit annoyed.

"What about them?"

"Did you catch the rumor that they were making out at the library yesterday afternoon?" her friend responded. She just looked at her friend peculiarly.

"Which new girl are we talking about?"

"That one with the purple dyed hair—the girl named Rachel, I think," her friend told her. She picked up on the words _purple hair_ in particular; recognizing which new girl her friend was particularly referring to.

"Was it Matthew that made the advance on her, or did the new girl—Rachel mutually join in?" she pressed her friend. Her friend shrugged.

"Tara, with Mattie—who really knows?" her friend replied. "Some girls would do anything to kiss him, and other times—if Mattie takes a fancy to a certain girl in particular—he'll go after her. All I know is what I've caught in rumors, sorry."

"I just hope he doesn't intend to manipulate that girl," Tara responded. "She's new here—and I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate that at all."

"I agree with you there," her friend replied.

She—_Tara_—thought about that prospect.

_I know for a fact that Raven wouldn't appreciate that concept,_ she thought to herself._ I know from personal experience that she doesn't like being used or manipulated._

"Hey, Tara—what'cha thinking about now?" her friend tried getting her attention when she noticed she was deep in contemplation. Tara just shrugged.

"It's nothing."

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"Today had to be the worst day ever," Raven grumbled to herself as she collapsed onto her bed. "Possibly almost on the same level as when Slade came back playing _daddy's stooge_."

She wasn't sure how she was going to be able to show her face again at that school—but she knew she would, regardless of how embarrassed she felt being there. She had made the effort because of Beast Boy, and she wasn't about to quit because of a bunch of immature high schoolers.

If it hadn't been for that fact—she wouldn't even bother going back. Raven knew she couldn't give up on the cause when it was so important to saving his sanity.

Raven just hoped she didn't lose hers in the process.

"I wonder what started the rumors anyways," Raven muttered to herself. "I hope Matt isn't the one who got it set in motion just for some need to boast."

"Hey Rae—you've got a visitor." It was Beast Boy. Raven was startled; she wasn't expecting any guests—

"Uh—I'm not expecting any guests," Raven stated as she opened the door to him.

"Uh, well—that's because I didn't make any plans to visit with you just yet," Beast Boy was grinning sheepishly, the first time she'd seen him do that in a while.

"So—you're the visitor then?" Raven questioned him.

"Were you expecting someone else possibly?" Beast Boy replied. Raven just looked at him, a smile starting to form as a wave of relief fell upon her.

"No—not really," Raven replied.

"Are you up to going to a show—kill some time outside the tower for a bit?" Beast Boy asked her. "I'm kind of getting sick of being cooped up, and I though it might be cool to catch a flick. I thought it might be okay to ask if you wanted to go."

"You know—I think I might just be up to doing that," Raven replied. _It might help me get this nightmare of a day out of my mind,_ she thought to herself.

"Really?" Beast Boy actually looked shocked. "Okay—cool."

"I just need a moment to get ready," Raven told him. "I should be out in a few."

"I'll meet you down in the common room when you're done." Beast Boy told her. He then left, and she closed her door so that she could get ready.


	10. 10: Clearing the Mind of Troubles

Chapter 10: Clearing the Mind of Troubles

It was surprising that they both were able to agree on one movie. Raven took a seat in the darkened cinema while Beast Boy paid a visit to the concession stand.

She didn't bother to go through her new wardrobe for an outfit, since she felt more comfortable in her usual wear. She felt more like herself, and not like her façade Rachel.

Beast Boy returned with a tub of popcorn and drinks just before the theatre grew dark and the screen active. He rejoined her, handing her a drink and setting the popcorn between them so she could reach it.

"Now this is a great way to relax and lose some of that stress," Beast Boy whispered to her. She looked to him, nodding in agreement. "It sure beats the angst of our missions," he added.

"Among other things," Raven added. He didn't look at her to question what she meant by that, or ask her about it for that matter. He instead concentrated his attention on the screen as the previews played.

The worries and traumas from earlier that day and the previous just melted away as the movie progressed; she felt oddly comfortable just being herself—while being out with someone who let her be herself, and she wouldn't have to worry about being startled with any actions she wasn't prepared for or expecting.

Neither really spoke throughout the whole viewing, but it wasn't like they were expected to—it was in the middle of a movie, after all. _No talking please—it's appreciated_.

When it was over, they left, disposing of the empty popcorn carton and drink cups on their way out.

"That was fun," Beast Boy stated as they entered the lobby. "Not the best movie I've ever seen—but definitely not the worst."

"It was—enjoyable," Raven replied. "I think I enjoyed it more because I was able to relax and be out at the same time."

"Haven't your recent trips out to the library lately been enjoyable?" Beast Boy asked her. "Cuz—you are the one who's usually more interested in looking at books than seeing movies."

"I—haven't really been able to feel relaxed at the library all that much lately," Raven told him. He stopped, looking at her particularly.

"Why—was there something that's happened lately while you're at the library that's got you more tense there than usual?" Beast Boy asked her. She stood there under his watchful eye, remaining silent for several long moments.

"Well—I've been a little more tense there since I spotted Terra there that one time," Raven told him. "I guess…I keep thinking I'll end up running into her again every time I go there. It wasn't like I was expecting to see her there the time I actually did. And with how you've been lately—" She let it hang.

"Rae—are you worried about me?" Beast Boy exclaimed. She nodded in response.

"Yes, I am," Raven, said. "I have been since the day you lashed out that robber and almost killed him. I know you—and I know you don't normally get aggressive_ quite like that _unless you're under deep pressure."

"Rae—I really appreciate that fact," Beast Boy replied. "Hearing that from you helps me feel a little less miserable at the very least."

Raven didn't respond; instead she just smiled.

"Up to doing something else—or do you just want to call it a day and head back to the tower?" Beast Boy asked her.

""If we did something else while we're out—what would you be interested in doing?" Raven said.

"I don't know—just go get some pizza?" Beast Boy suggested.

"I think I could be up to doing that," Raven told him.

"Okay—let's go get a pizza before the place gets too crowded with people then," Beast Boy suggested.

As the two started to make their way out of the theatre, Raven caught something out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head only slightly so it wouldn't be noticeable that she was trying to look at something in particular to Beast Boy.

Raven realized what had caught her eye in the first place; she had to prevent herself from outwardly reacting and alerting Beast Boy all the while to what she saw.

On the other side of the busy street, blending in with the busy crowd—stood the girl Raven had identified as Terra at the library earlier on, observing the two of them from where she stood. She was very sure that the girl was very aware of who the two of them were.

What Raven didn't understand was—why was she even watching them in the first place?

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The two of them returned to the tower fairly late; Raven and Beast Boy had made a stop by the shore to eat instead of staying at the overly crowded parlor. After they were finished, they just stayed by the shore side, just enjoying the peace and quiet—and the opportunity to lodge more stones into the depths.

When Raven finally got settled into her room, she had almost forgotten about the issues she'd had over the past couple of days. She was actually glad the changeling had shown up when he did; she needed that kind of break to set her mind at ease.

She regrettably knew she'd have to walk right back into that same old tension the following day when she would have to go attend classes yet again. But she wasn't going to let that ruin her night. Instead, she just got herself prepared for bed, and then peacefully fell asleep.


	11. 11: Ill Intuited

Chapter 11: Ill Intuited

She had seen Raven out that evening with Beast Boy—just leaving the Cineplex. He seemed to be in a better mood than the last time she'd seen him—when he was distraught and storming away from the scene after one of their missions was wrapping up.

She wasn't sure what had set him off that day like a ticking time bomb, but she got a feeling it was partially in some way connected to her. She felt a pang of guilt about that, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. She couldn't change the past—and she couldn't go back to it either.

Seeing Raven there with him—how he seemed happy with her—it made her feel better seeing that. The fact that Raven was making an effort to brighten his mood was satisfying to her.

She had to wonder if that was why Raven had enrolled in her school in the first place—that it had something to do with the changeling. She was starting to feel less and less tense about Raven's appearance at her school.

In her mind, it was all starting to make sense.

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Raven found it frustrating that the only times she ever ran into Terra—they were inconvenient. She couldn't alert Beast Boy to the fact that she had been watching them while they were leaving the Cineplex. It might have left him traumatized right there on the spot, and she didn't want add to that already existing pressure she knew he was under.

She got herself ready for yet another grueling day of classes. She was hoping beyond hope that the day would go by uneventfully; she wasn't up for more peer pressure or humiliating gossip.

She did something a little different with her hair this time—she left it down and just used some clips to hold it back behind her ears. She then gathered up her course materials and headed out.

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Matt met up with Raven in the hallways. He seemed a little more chipper than she expected he'd be normally, leading her to suspect something.

"Tara was in class today," Matt announced as Raven approached him. "Too bad you didn't stop in today to see if she was there to confirm if she's the girl you're looking for or not."

"I guess I'll just have to see if I'm fortunate enough to catch her sometime today," Raven replied.

"Hey—I'm sorry those rumors got so wild yesterday about me and you and what happened at the library," Matt told her as they made their way to their class. "Apparently, some classmate was there while we were—and started up the rumor mill. Unfortunately not everyone is able to control their tongues when they're forming words."

"I'm not really used to having rumors spread about me," Raven replied. "I went to a school previously that was too strict for the students to get away with that kind of thing. It took me a while to get resettled after I got home yesterday after classes."

"I guess that's why public places just suck—everyone's always watching and waiting for something juicy to crop up," Matt told her. They had just reached the doorway to their class. "Hey—I was wondering if you'd prefer studying at my place next time. I was thinking maybe this afternoon would be good. The big test on this chapter is coming up—and I though it might be good to pore over the material to prepare for it." He looked at her expectantly. "Well—what do you say?"

Raven looked at him uncertainly. She wasn't sure how she should answer; she still felt uncomfortable about what had happened during their last study break. She could feel the tension building up inside her, but she tried not to outwardly show it.

"I'll— have to think about it," Raven told. "Give me until the end of class to give you an answer. The bell's about to tone, and I don't want to be late."

"Sure—I can wait that long," Matt replied. He said nothing more about it, just leading her into the classroom towards a row of desks.

Raven found it hard to concentrate on the teacher's lecture as she juggled options around in her mind for what Matt had asked her. She managed to hear enough to keep up with the material, but she felt bogged down with even more weight then she was used to.

By the end of class, she managed to come to an uncertain answer. She waited for Matt by the door as everyone filed out of the room to get to their next classes.

"I've decided I'll meet up with you to study after school," Raven informed him as he approached her. "Can you give me an idea of where to go—what your address is so I can meet you there?"

"Sure," Matt took out some loose-leaf paper and a pen, and started jotting some details down. When he was finished, he folded up the sheet in quarters and handed it to her. "If you have an troubles finding it—just google it."

"I should be able to find it," Raven told him, taking the sheet from him.

"Ill see you later then," Matt said before he was off.

Raven just watched him walk off. When he went out of view, she looked down to the paper clasped in her hand, thinking to herself, _I hope I didn't just make a big mistake._

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The rest of the day was uneventful as Raven made her way off of school property to head back home. She was mentally trying to prepare herself for her meeting up with Matt later along the way. Since that day he'd kissed her, she couldn't find herself being completely comfortable in his presence. At times she couldn't figure if he was genuinely interested in her, or if he was just a player.

She changed out of the uniform and quickly into something else from her new wardrobe. She only had an hour before she had to head out again, so she didn't have time to waste in between making multiple outfit changes.

After she'd made a change of clothing, she pulled out the notepaper with Matt's address on it, sighing as she opened the folded sheet and read over the note in his handwriting.

She recognized the location of his address; it was in a more suburban area of the city. It could take her a couple hours to make it there by foot, or a half hour by public transit. She opted for neither; she had her own mode of transportation that was much faster.

She just had to make sure nobody spotted her using it.

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Raven ran into Starfire on her way out. Starfire noted to her that their changeling friend seemed slightly better humored over the past twenty-four hours than he had been before that. Raven had to wonder if their outing the day before had anything to do with it.

"I'll have to think about it later Star," Raven told Starfire. "I'm on my way out—so I don't have the time to do it right now."

"Where—may I ask—are you going off to?" Starfire asked her.

"I'm going to go study for an upcoming test at Matt's place," Raven informed her. "I stashed my communicator in my pack in an inconspicuous place just in case someone needs to get in contact with me. I'm going to have it on silent mode for a while—just so it won't alert Matt if it goes off."

"I believed that you felt at odds with spending time with this Matt—what has prompted you to make these arrangements, taking that into consideration?" Starfire asked her.

"I need to study the material—and I don't need to isolate myself completely from him just because of some bad gossip going around," Raven replied. "Star—while I'm out—can you continue to keep tabs on BB for me?"

"I will," Starfire replied. "I wish you the best for this study session. May it not go to the extreme you do not wish it to reach."

"Thanks." Raven didn't say anything more; she just picked up her bag and was on her way.

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Raven sighed as she reached the front landing of Matt's residence, hesitating to knock or ring the doorbell. After a time she got up the nerve to ring the bell.

Not long after she'd hit the buzzer, Matt answered the door.

"Punctual as usual—and you found the place without any troubles apparently," Matt commented as he stood in the doorway. "My aunt's still at work—so we'll have the place to ourselves until she gets let out at five thirty."

"Okay," Raven said, feeling strangely uncertain with that prospect.

"Well—come in, so we can get started," Matt stated, showing her in. Raven hesitantly made her way through the front entryway, standing near the entry hall as he closed the door.

Where to?" Raven asked him.

"Back this way," Matt replied, motioning for her to follow him. She didn't say anything else, just silently following him instead.

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Raven set her bag down by the desk, taking a seat at the chair designated for it. The room looked like it was used for a couple of different purposes—among them, a study and sleeping quarters.

"Hey—I got something for you to drink," Matt came back into the space. "I figured it was the least I could do."

"What…is it?" Raven asked him hesitantly.

"Just some tap water with ice," Matt stated, handing her the glass. He a glass of his own in his other hand. "It gets kind of dry back here—so I figured it was best we kept hydrated while we study."

"That makes sense—I guess," Raven replied.

"I'll go fetch my textbook, and then we can get started," Matt told her, leaving her alone in the room.

She looked around while she waited, finding herself to be a bit dehydrated. She brought the glass of ice-cold water up to her lips and started sipping it slowly. It was refreshing and yet tasteless; she ended up finishing it in the end. The last stretch of it she took in too quickly, developing a headache from the sheer cold rush she got as a result.

She went to lie down to recuperate from the cold shock to her head on the small cot off to one side. But instead of managing to recuperate, she began to feel dizzy and faint, until she ended up passing out.

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"Hey—where'd Raven go off to?" Beast Boy asked Starfire, as the two happened to bump into each other in the hallway. "I haven't seen her around most of the afternoon, and I wanted to ask her about something."

"She is out at the library participating in one of their functions," Starfire informed him. ""Was there any rush to inform or ask her what you have intended to inquire about?"

"I…just wanted to ask her if she wanted to go do something—no big," Beast Boy told her. "If she's too busy right now—I guess I'll just ask her some other time when she's not."

"May I inquire why you are choosing to ask her to do something with you in particular?" Starfire asked him. "I believed you to be in a somber mood—and did not wish to exercise any interest in anything joyous until this spell has dissipated."

"Doing things with her _has_ helped me get out of that sour mood," Beast Boy told her.

"May I inquire why you are in such foul humor to begin with?" Starfire asked.

"Lydia broke up with me pretty abruptly recently," Beast Boy told her. "It hit a sour note with me—and considering how well I thought we got along—_and_ the track record I've been keeping with dating recently…I've just been a ticking time bomb as a result. Although I'm more in control than I was a little while ago when I nearly wiped out that robber permanently."

"That was what triggered your aggressiveness during that mission?" Starfire seemed to exclaim. "I apologize I did not catch on. That is unfortunate."

"Yeah," Beast Boy replied. "Hey Star—do you think your can keep from making an issue of this with the other two? I'm not in the mood to deal with them and this right now."

"I can promise that," Starfire replied. "I shall feel the sadness for your falling out with Lydia in silence."

"Thanks Star," Beast Boy replied gratefully. "Oh—and if you see Raven before I do—can you tell her I'm looking for her?"

"Yes—I will let her know that if I see her before you do," Starfire told him.

"Good, thanks," Beast Boy told her. He then headed off towards his room, leaving Starfire standing there alone and wondering about him—and for that matter—Raven.

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Raven was just becoming aware of the fact that she had blacked out. She couldn't quite comprehend why she felt disorientated as she was coming to. She recalled having a headache, but she thought it was just from drinking the ice-cold water way too fast—

She could sense she was still alone in the room as she managed to gather her senses completely. She figured she had been out of it a short time—at least, until she had gathered her senses totally and completely.

She tried sitting up, trying to assess the situation. To her utter horror, the move forced her to grasp a new reality of the situation she was in that she wasn't aware of before.

She had not been aware of the fact that she'd had a sheet draped over her—without much else to account for beside that. She froze—her eyes widening in horror as she pinned the sheet close up to herself with her hands. She looked around frantically for an explanation—or the slightest chance her clothes were still there somewhere.

Fortunately enough—although the situation itself seemed pretty dire—she discovered her bag was still resting on the floor where she'd left it, untouched.

She didn't have the nerves to process what was happening—or the possibilities of what _had _happened—she just knew she had to get out of there, _fast._

Not bothering to even be concerned about the whereabouts of her clothing, she wrapped the sheet she had had spread over her around herself securely, grabbing her bag and hurriedly making an exit via her powers.


	12. 12: Shocked

Chapter 12: Shocked

Raven collapsed to the floor as she emerged from her soul-self projection inside the sanctuary of her room. She found herself making an unusually exasperated effort to catch her breath as she just kneeled on her hands and knees on the floor.

When she finally was able to get her breathing under control, she tried hard to assess the situation—rule in or out possibilities of what went wrong—what happened to begin with. Her mind was in distress with some of these possibilities, unconsciously causing her to bring her arms around her tightly and involuntarily causing her to shiver.

She really had to force down the desire to scream. She had to force back the desire to cry uncontrollably. It was probably those efforts that kept her rational and sane. As she began to rationalize her assessments, the real possibilities seemed to separate themselves from the exaggerations.

Besides the fact that _something_ had happened to her clothing that she was very certain wasn't one of her own actions—she didn't get the sense that she had been violated. She was starting to feel very thankful that she had gotten out of there when she did; she got the unpleasant sense that something would have happened if she _had _stayed longer.

She was very certain she would never be able to trust Matt again, and she was expecting some form of humiliation as a result the following day. The fact that he still had claim on her clothing gave him the advantage of using this _trophy_ as some form of blackmail against her—

That—of course, didn't settle well, but the thought of _actually sticking around_ for the physical damage to occur made the other option at least more tolerable. She wouldn't even be able to live with herself if she _had _stuck around for that.

She began to realize she was starting to shiver. Underneath that poor excuse for cover sheet wrapped around her, she was naked. She couldn't stand the chill any longer, rushing towards her wardrobe to find something to get dressed with.

She set aside the _Rachel_ façade, returning to what she was comfortable with graciously—the outfit that identified her as who she was.

She never had felt so grateful to don her cloak around her shoulders as she did just then. It helped to block the nightmares her Rachel facade witnessed when she dressed in something that was true to herself.

_If only I could put that nightmare behind me completely_, she thought bitterly to herself. _But my mission isn't finished yet—and I have to finish it, for Beast Boy's sake—and maybe even mine._

She stashed the sheet she'd dragged with her as protection in a situation where she'd had none in a place in her room she hardly visited, trying to get it out of her sight as fast as she could. When she had it completely out of sight and mind, she looked towards her bag—the one she'd brought with her to the _study date gone wrong._

She went over to it, retrieving her communicator from within and activating it.

She attempted to target the signal of the device to a specific source. After a moment, the signal that was sent was received successfully.

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Starfire was just wandering around the tower when her communicator went off. The ringing it produced startled her so that she almost jumped several feet skyward—what with how the halls she found herself meandering through were caught in an almost complete silence till that point.

She answered it; she was surprised to see Raven on the other end of the signal—with her room being the backdrop especially.

"Raven?" Starfire exclaimed, "W-when did you get in? I did not even hear—"

"I just got back—I didn't come in by conventional means," Raven replied. She looked like she was troubled from Starfire's perspective. "Star—something has happened that I need to talk to someone about. You're the only one I think I could turn to for this in particular."

"Was there a mishap during your outing?" Starfire asked her. Raven just grimly nodded on the other end. "Are you located in your room? Is that where you wish for me to meet you?"

"Yes—I'm in my room. Just knock before you come in—I need to be sure it's you before I can answer or allow anyone in," Raven stated.

"I will do as you have requested," Starfire promised.

"Thanks, Starfire," Raven told her gratefully. She then cut the connection. Starfire closed her own device up, and then put it away for good measure.

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Beast Boy was just wandering the halls leading past the personal quarters of those of his teammates' and his own, mostly just to kill some time for the most part. Most everyone else on the team was busy elsewhere with something—which left him bored in his still somber state of mind.

As he was making his way past where Raven's room was situated in that set of halls, he heard voices. Curious and even slightly alarmed by it, he strained his ears to try and locate where they were originated. He started to investigate with his ears especially trained on the one set of voices, pressing his ear to the wall where they seemed to originate from behind.

He managed to pick up the conversation with some unexpected clarity from his position—with where his ear was pressed against directly. It wasn't exactly pristine quality—but it _was_ better than he expected from between such thick walls.

"—After what happened, I really want to get this over with as fast as I can," He heard Raven's voice. Beast Boy only caught a portion of what she said, but he didn't get a good feeling from what he did hear—or the tone he swore he heard her speak in. She sounded troubled by something—

"Is it fairly certain in your mind that nothing occurred while you were in the state of unconsciousness?" he heard Starfire ask. _Unconsciousness?_ That caught Beast Boy's attention. _Where and what_—

"Yes—I'm fairly certain it didn't get past him taking off with my clothes and then just disappearing from the room before I came to." He could hear in Raven's response that she was troubled—possibly even disturbed about something. "I made a hasty exit before it could get that far. What's got me troubled the most is that I walked right into that trap—against my better judgment. I feel so _stupid_—I should have known better."

"Do you still harbor any feelings for him in any form after this?" Beast Boy heard Starfire ask her. _Feelings—him?_ He questioned to himself silently. _All this time—those visits to the library, her outings—was she really seeing somebody_? He found himself strangely alarmed by that prospect; he wasn't quite sure of the reason for that—

Beast Boy didn't feel the need to intrude in on their conversation any longer, instead going on his way—waiting for whenever the two girls would eventually emerge.

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"I'm going to have a hard time even looking him in the eye or being alone in his presence," Raven pointedly told Starfire. "After what he did—what he was planning to do—I don't have any feelings for Matt besides anger and resentment. Star—actions like his aren't taken very lightly by people in society; it could actually be labeled a crime—especially considering our ages and if I chose to press charges. Under normal circumstances—if this had happened in a real relationship, and not a cover up—I would have pressed charges. The fact that I'm using a pseudonym in this case would only complicate matters—and possibly end my chances of finishing my mission."

"Do you intend on relying on this Matt to get in contact with the girl you suspect may be Terra still?" Starfire asked her. Raven shook her head.

"I'd rather handle this on my own—even if it could take a little longer," Raven told her. "I'm just hoping it won't take that much longer. With the humiliation I'm sure Matt's got in store for me—especially since I bailed out on him like I did—"

"I am sorry this Matt has fooled you like he has," Starfire told her apologetically. "It is not right—what he has done. If he had done such a thing on my planet—he would have been severely punished. Attacks on personal space are not very well tolerated amongst my people."

"It's good to know that sentiment's universal," Raven replied. "Again—no mention of this to anyone. For one—it would only raise questions about what I've really been up to, and two—I don't need it leaked that I came very close to being raped this afternoon by some jerk I just met."

"I promise to speak not a word," Starfire promised. "I do hope that you will be careful to avoid another such mishap like this one."

"Oh—I will," Raven confirmed. "I _never_ intend to go through anything like this again."

"Oh—before I depart, I just remembered that Beast Boy was asking about your whereabouts earlier," Starfire noted.

"He did?" Raven asked. "What about?"

"He told me he noticed you have been out as of late—and was intending on inquiring if you would be interested in doing something with him," Starfire replied. "I didn't inform him of what you really were up to, but I did mention you were out—and that I would inform you that he was looking for you when I spoke to you next."

"I'll talk to him when I can—I guess," Raven replied.

"If I see him by chance in passing, I will inform him that you are in," Starfire told her. Raven just nodded in acknowledgement, while Starfire showed herself out.

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Starfire left; Raven stayed in the confines of her room a while longer, just trying to get her nerves completely settled. She was fairly certain in her mind that she had gotten out of the situation in time—that she got out of there before she could have ended up being raped—

The fact that she wasn't one hundred percent certain of that didn't settle completely well with her, but she knew she was certain enough to know that percentage holding it back from complete certainty was pretty minimal.

She was really starting to appreciate that—even with his faults—Beast Boy was just a harmless prankster with an annoying sense of humor and an annoying insistence on making her laugh while using it. Even with those faults—those little factors that often got on her nerves—he never went out of his way to actually _hurt_ her. He was her friend in a way she could never trust the likes of Matt to ever be.

It was their friendship and her concern for him as one that had driven her on that mission to seek out Terra in the first place. It was the least she felt she could do to help him out.

She hoped—when this was all over with—that he'd appreciate all she went through in order to help him out of his tough spot. She hoped he would understand all she sacrificed for him in the end—to help him out.

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Beast Boy kept wondering to himself if Raven had met someone at the library somehow—if that was why she frequented the place more recently. It would explain her dressing up on a few occasions when she left; he had to wonder—if that was it—why she bothered to keep quiet about it and have Starfire possibly cover for her at the same time.

Some of what he'd overheard—the troubling tone in Raven's voice when he'd heard her speak—conflicted things a bit in his mind. Had she already taken a possible relationship to another level? With the mention of her being unconscious, and missing clothing—

Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions. Maybe what they were discussing was totally different from what he'd perceived from the fragment of conversation he _had _overheard. Maybe she _was_ casually seeing someone—someone who she had on and off issues with. He recalled her hesitating to give him a response about her recent trips to the library—her reasons for why she enjoyed the movie experience over those trips—

He had been doing most of his pondering in the common room, his only company being a snack he'd prepared for himself out of boredom. Robin and Cyborg apparently were still out looking into some fixtures for the tower he had no interest in—and both girls were still busy discussing whatever in Raven's room.

Starfire eventually emerged and joined him in the common room—alone.

"Hey Star—where's Raven?" Beast Boy asked her as she made her entrance.

"How—did you know she was in?" Starfire managed to exclaim, her expression shocked—like she wasn't expecting him to even ask her that.

"I overheard you two talking in her room when I just happened to be passing by earlier," Beast Boy replied. "Hey—did something bad happen to her while she was out or something? I kind of caught from her tone that she was troubled. Is she caught up in a relationship that heading south or something?"

"I would rather not say," Starfire replied. Beast Boy noted from her reaction that she knew more then she was willing to let off, because like he—she couldn't hide her emotions behind a veil of neutrality like Raven could. "I let her know that you were inquiring about her earlier—just to let you know I've done as you requested, and I promised."

"Is she up to seeing me—or speaking with me?" Beast Boy asked her.

"I believe so," Starfire said. "She said she would eventually seek you out—so I believe she would have no objections to having you present. She might even be gracious of some friendly company."

"Did something bad _really happen_ to her that you're not telling me about, Star?" Beast Boy questioned her. Starfire's expression of mixed uncertainty and concern was all she displayed, not saying one word in reply to either confirm or deny what he was inquiring about.

"Okay—I guess I'm gonna have to ask her myself to get any answers—since I figure I'm not gonna get anywhere by badgering you all afternoon with my questioning." Beast Boy got up for his seating, ignoring his previous _companion _completely. Even if he did recall it being there—he wasn't up to eating it that much anymore. "Star—thanks for letting me know she's in—and for letting her know I was looking for her." Before Starfire could squeeze a word in to object, he was out of the room and out of range.

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Raven was surprised by the echoing of insistent knocking on her bedroom door that shattered the silence she'd been caught up in. If it wasn't enough that her nerves were still on the mend—that sudden shock didn't help them much.

"Raven—Star told me you were back, and—I kinda overheard you two talking earlier—and…you sounded a bit troubled—and I'm kinda wondering why?" Beast Boy's voice carried from the other side, making it fairly obvious who that insistent knocker at her door was.

"What did you overhear?" Raven asked him.

"What sounded like you're dealing with a relationship or something that's heading south," Beast Boy replied. "I only heard a small bit of it—I didn't want to intrude. I heard voices, and—I thought I was alone in this part of the place."

"Starfire told me you were looking for me earlier for some reason," Raven said to him. "Something—about asking if I was interested in doing something with you—I think that's what she said anyways."

"Yeah—what about that?" Beast Boy asked her, sounding a bit puzzled.

"I think I need to get out—and just be able to relax." Raven opened the door to her room as she spoke, facing Beast Boy as it opened. "There are a few things I can't talk about right now—but I _do_ think I could use some friendly support _and_ clear my mind by taking you up on that offer. Does it still stand?"

He wanted to question why she _couldn't _tell him what was really going on, but instead he just withdrew a breath.

"Yeah, the offer still stands," Beast Boy told her. "I don't get why you can't tell me what's really bothering you—but I will _try _to do what I can to help you out, since I owe you that much for helping me out while I've been under strain myself."

"Thanks BB,' Raven said.

"So...another movie? Something else?" Beast Boy asked curiously.

"A movie sounds fine, and—if you want—we could throw rocks at the shore line afterwards," Raven suggested. "I remember those times I joined you that made you happy."

"Sounds like we've got a date set up," Beast Boy stated.

"_Date_?" Raven looked at him strangely.

"I'm kidding." Beast Boy grinned sheepishly. Raven couldn't help but laugh.


	13. 13: Unlucky Humiliation

Chapter 13: Unlucky Humiliation

_Tara_ knew that Raven didn't attend classes until later in the day. _Tara_ was pretty sure the last couple of days had been grueling for Raven—considering the wild rumors that were flying around like wildfire lately had been about her, and they weren't the kind of rumors _Tara _would expect Raven to appreciate.

It was probably a good thing that Raven's next class wasn't until later on; the new wave of rumors _Tara _had been catching hints of in the air were obviously going to be very humiliating for her. _Tara _couldn't help but feel strong disdain for the one who'd originated those rumors to begin with.

It wasn't like that person was keeping quiet that he was the culprit; he seemed too happy to boast about it—openly and proudly. _Tara_ knew his claims were fairly exaggerated; she _knew _him—_and _she also _knew _his victim.

_Tara _belonged to a different crowd from his kind of ilk—a respectable crowd for that matter. _Tara_ had learned the hard way not to hang out with the wrong crowd—in a more realistic example with realistic results.

_Tara _had wanted to avoid exposing her past to anybody—or the real identity of Raven's for that matter—but if holding up to that meant allowing an old friend's integrity to be dragged through the mud in the process…she wouldn't feel good about herself if she just allowed that to happen.

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"I feel really bad for that new girl right now," a friend whispered to _Tara _as they were seated—waiting for class to begin. "Those new rumors about Rachel are pretty harsh in my opinion."

"And—since they're coming straight from Matthew, and not Rachel herself—I don't exactly believe them," _Tara _whispered back. "I get the feeling that girl wouldn't sink to that kind of level."

"I overheard from someone that the new girl has been looking for you—something about you two being old friends in grade school or something," her friend notably whispered back to her. "Is there some truth to that? Do you know her by chance?"

"Yeah—we knew each other a long time ago," _Tara _whispered in reply. "Another reason I don't believe Mathew—and would defend her in this. "

"I find his claims that she willingly slept with him absurd myself," her friend said. "He can wave around his _proof_ all he wants—but after what happened to a close friend of mine who got involved with him a couple of years ago, I stopped believing anything he says."

"It's nice to know there are some of us who don't buy his stories—but unfortunately not everyone in this school is intelligent enough to know the facts from fiction when it comes to rumors," _Tara_ stated with a contemptuous note.

"It's too bad that girl's going to be humiliated when she gets in for her first class this afternoon," her friend stated regretfully.

"I can't take a back seat in this and let Matthew get away with destroying her rep like this," _Tara _stated. "When she gets in this afternoon—I think I'll confront her about this personally."

"That's what I like about you—you stick up for your friends—even if you haven't seen them in ages," her friend commented. "That's what I did for the friend of mine he humiliated a while back; she really appreciated that I backed her when almost nobody else would."

_I can just imagine the kind of damage she could put Matthew through if she gets furious enough, Tara _thought to herself_. I should know; I've seen what Raven's capable of when she's mad._

_Tara _and her friend ceased their conversation; the bell rang, marking the beginning of third period classes.

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Spending the night out with Beast Boy had been what Raven needed to get her nerves gathered back together after they'd been shattered earlier that evening by her mishap at Matt's. She had the sense that he felt something was up with her, but he didn't bother to press her that whole evening. It was nice that he knew when not press things when he really shouldn't.

Their visit to the shore under the serenity of the full ivory moon had been peaceful—even refreshing. The dark contrast of the sea before them against the rippling reflections of the ivory orb overhead cast a unique balance of calming peace and a magical tranquility.

They'd spent a couple hours underneath that moon by the shore—talking and lodging rocks into the sea. He'd finally managed to find a joke he could spin to her that would make her laugh.

That had helped to ease her tension, and she had gone to bed that night in a peaceful state of mind. When she awoke, that sense had escaped her—the dread of a new morn instead enveloping her as she thought about the classes she had yet to attend that afternoon.

Raven knew what to expect; it didn't make it any easier on her as the time drew nearer to when she'd have to head off to attend another day of courses in the hell known as high school.

She got the uniform out and regrettably started to dress herself in it. As she arranged each piece properly, she kept reminding herself why she was going through with it—over and over.

_You're doing this for BB,_ Raven reminded herself. _You were never in this for yourself—it was always for him. If you got any benefit from this—it should be his happiness from what you went through to get it for him. It was never about personal gain._ She looked at herself in the mirror—at the Rachel façade she found she could never truly identify with. She put her hair back, sighing deeply as she did one last once over.

_I just hope I won't end up regretting this_. She hesitantly grabbed up her bag, and then she left.

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Beast Boy noticed yet again that Raven was out for the afternoon. He didn't see her leave, but her room was too empty and silent for her to still be in there. He knew—he checked. He just wouldn't tell her he snuck in without her permission.

She had been happy the previous evening while they'd been out together, but he found himself oddly worrying about what was really going on with her. He knew Starfire wouldn't be up to giving him any hints or clues to what _that was_; it was pointless to even ask. He was also fairly certain the other two were oblivious to what was going on with Raven—and he didn't feel like bothering to ask them anyways in the small chance that they _did _know.

Beast Boy decided to get out himself, finding himself oddly at a place he normally would think to even go. He wasn't sure if he was subconsciously drawn there because he knew Raven went there—or if he himself had the desire to be there.

The place was eerily quiet for his tastes; libraries were always that way to him. He avoided them usually like the plague, librarians tended to creep him out for some reason.

Beast Boy wandered into the place in a half daze, his usual tendencies upon entering those premises inhibited. He glanced around from the tables arranged around to the aisles lined with literal works, not quite sure what he was looking for or who he was looking for.

Maybe he was subconsciously expecting to find Raven there, his conscious seemed to remind him, but everywhere he happened to look—no Raven. All he did see was just books, tables, and people reading books, looking at books, or gossiping at tables.

He did spy one familiar face there. At one table sat Lydia, reading a young adult fiction novel. Beast Boy hadn't seen her since the day she'd stated he was just an infatuation to her, and he felt uneasy seeing her there. He wanted to get out of there before she could notice him there, but he didn't move fast enough, and she spotted him.

"Fancy seeing you here, BB," Lydia said to him. "I didn't think you liked places like this."

"I don't," Beast Boy stated blandly. "Raven's the one who likes these places."

"Your purple haired friend—right?" Lydia asked him.

"Yeah—that's the one," Beast Boy replied.

"I've seen her here a few times," Lydia told him. "I don't think she notices me here. I believe she wasn't all that taken with me."

"She told me she didn't like your personality," Beast Boy stated, pulling up a chair from nearby and joining her. "Raven's not all that taken to overly optimistic types."

"I wasn't really being myself back then either—so she probably wasn't too thrilled with my giggly façade," Lydia told him. "BB—I like you, I _really do—_but I wasn't being me when I was going out with you. I wasn't being honest with you—and worst of all—I wasn't being honest with myself."

"Was that why you told me I was an infatuation?" Beast Boy questioned her.

"Yeah, in a way—_yeah," _Lydia grinned sheepishly. "I'm sorry I led you on the way I did. I just—got so caught up in that façade I almost bought it as being who I really was. I did have fun though—and I do think you're funny."

"I'm glad that part of it wasn't a lie at least," Beast Boy said.

"So—if this place isn't your cup a tea…what are you doing here?" Lydia asked him curiously.

"I think I was expecting to find Raven here for some reason," Beast Boy told her. "She told me she's been frequenting this place more recently—and…because of a few recent things…I'm kind of wondering what she does when she's here. Lately she's been kinda—troubled about something, and she won't tell me why. I just came to figuring…it had to do with something that happened here."

"I did see her here once with some guy—it looked like they were studying or something," Lydia told him. "Apparently he took her off guard when he decided he wanted to kiss her. She went as red as a beet as a result. They spent a lot of the time following that just making out. She was still blushing when she left that day."

"Did you recognize the guy—maybe know his name or something?" Beast Boy asked her. Lydia was caught in thought for a moment. She then shrugged.

"I'm not sure if I know him," Lydia replied. "I think I've seen him around the local high school—but I don't know who he is personally. I've never spoken to him myself."

"You don't go to the high school around here?" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"Like you—I don't take classes there," Lydia replied. "Unlike you though…I'm home schooled. I'm socially awkward because my mother refuses to allow me to attend public schools. She says they're just a breeding ground for rumors and bad things. I don't object—I've seen the cruelness of kids our age when they come in here gossiping and all that. It's pretty pathetic—and I'm glad I don't have to be a part of that."

"How often do you come here anyways?" Beast Boy asked her.

"Pretty much everyday," Lydia replied. "This is where I come to study. My mom's strict about that kind of thing."

""Have you seen Raven here during any of the times you've been here?" Beast Boy asked her.

""Only a few times," Lydia replied. "And not every day."

"I wonder where she goes—if it's not here—" Beast Boy wondered aloud to himself.

"Probably out with that guy I mentioned," Lydia stated, shrugging. "Does that bother you for some reason?"

"I don't know why—but yes, it does," Beast Boy replied. He couldn't help recalling that fragment of a conversation he'd picked up between Raven and Starfire the previous day. Starfire asking if she still had feelings for someone—probably the guy Lydia mentioned seeing. The bit about unconsciousness and missing clothes—

"Why does it bug you?" Lydia asked him, catching him off guard.

"Because—I don't know—I've been getting this feeling like she's been seeing someone—but I didn't have any proof of that until now…" Beast Boy trailed, falling silent for a few moments. "I overheard her talking with Starfire last night, and—because of a lack of proof—I thought I was jumping to conclusions on what I overheard. She wouldn't exactly tell me that she was seeing anyone, but from what I overheard—it didn't sound like she was just _seeing someone_—it sounded like she might be_ sleeping_ with someone."

"You know—from what I did get from meeting her is that she seems like the type who would wait a couple of years for that kind of thing—like she's too responsible to get into that too much at this age or something," Lydia noted. "She also seemed socially awkward to me—I don't know…I just get the feeling she is more likely to get forced into sleeping with someone—so to speak—than the type who'd be more then willing to agree to it mutually." She shrugged. "She's not like your friend Starfire—who's a free spirit more open to opportunities and that kind of thing."

"Raven isn't like Star—she is a bit socially awkward," Beast Boy noted, mostly to himself. He pondered over that idea—what Lydia had stated on that idea— "This is only making me worry about her more."

"Why's that?" Lydia asked him.

"She sounded troubled when she and Star were having that conversation—possibly even disturbed by something. I'm starting to wonder if it's possible this guy did something to her—_was being forceful _with her—" That thought didn't settle well in Beast Boy's mind. "I tried to get information out of the two of them, but neither would budge and spill."

"Are you possibly suggesting that guy I saw her with—" Lydia covered her mouth, her eyes widening. "I understand why this would bug you then."

"I'm not sure if that actually _did_ happen—I'm just concerned that it might've," Beast Boy stated.

"Your concern for her is touching," Lydia told him admirably. "You must care a lot about her if you're this concerned about her safety."

"We're close friends—it would be wrong for me not to be concerned," Beast Boy stated.

"Well…let me say that I hope nothing like that has happened to her," Lydia told him. "That was one of the reasons why my mom pulled me from public school in the first place. This city's school system has a higher rate of delinquents—at least that's what my mom's told me anyways."

"Thanks Lydia, that means a lot coming from you," Beast Boy told her. "—Especially considering she wasn't all that fond of you."

CCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Raven couldn't help but feel out of place as she made her way through the halls towards her history class. She could hear the harsh whispers, see the faces staring at her—and she knew what it was all about.

She caught fragments of the gossip—the phrases _she slept with him _and _she willingly gave into it_ and other bits that were similar. She knew those statements weren't true; she didn't sleep with him—or been willing to for that matter. She knew arguing her point was pointless; she knew those spreading the gossip or those buying it wouldn't believe her.

A few fragments she did catch made her blood run cold; somehow rumors had spread that there was _photographic proof_—something about there being some photos of her floating around—_nude_ photos—

If she hadn't spent most of her life suppressing her emotions, she probably would have been screaming uncontrollably. She knew Matt would probably be gloating—waving around her stolen clothes as proof of something _happening_—but she had no clue up to that point that he'd possibly taken photos of her while she was still out.

The thought just made her shudder inwardly—and it made her blood boil in fury. If she'd let her father's influence take control of her at that point—she'd probably end up annihilating him right then and there. But she knew losing control of that in her would also mean losing control of herself, as a whole—and she couldn't have that.

Raven had to wonder what Terra was getting out of these rumors—if she was enjoying them, or if she actually opposed them. She held onto a glimmer of hope that Terra wasn't laughing at her expense, and that maybe she was about as angry with this as she was—

She glared at few of the gossipers staring at her as she made her way through—a flinty cold stare she knew would make people back off. Just as she thought—they _did _back off, actually looking a little frightened as they did so. They were lucky that was the worst she gave them. If she'd allowed herself to, they could've been in for much worse.

As she approached her history classroom, she caught sight of a familiar face watching her, waiting for her. It wasn't Matt, thankfully—but this familiar face wasn't completely welcoming in her mind either.

For the first time since she'd enrolled in that school, Raven finally was about confront the very person she'd enrolled in the school to find in the first place—Terra, or as she was known on her turf—_Tara._


	14. 14: Lucky Confrontations

Chapter 14: Lucky Confrontations

She watched as Raven had to shove her way through the gawkers in the hall. She could see very well that Raven wasn't taking the humiliation that entirely well; she must have either caught the rumors—or was expecting them—

_Tara_ wasn't sure how much of the rumors Raven had actually overheard; she felt bad that she had to hear any of them.

Raven hadn't spotted her there yet—waiting around for her to arrive; she was too busy dealing with her own inner turmoil and the rumors she heard from the gossipers. When she finally managed to look _Tara_'s way—her expression was a mixture of anger and relief.

"So—we finally get the chance to meet here," Raven stated as she came face to face with _Tara_. "I really hope you're not enjoying this."

"Actually, Ra—chel, I'm not all that happy with all of this myself," _Tara_ stated back. "I think Matthew's being a jerk by doing this to you in particular."

"You—actually aren't enjoying this?" Raven exclaimed, actually shocked. "You're—siding with me on this??"

"We're friends—aren't we?" _Tara _asked her. "Isn't that what friends do—stand up for their friends?"

"Then why did—?" Raven began to question.

"It wasn't the right timing," _Tara_ stated plainly. "It is now though." She grabbed Raven by the arm. "I think I know why you came looking for me. Let's go somewhere else—so we can talk in privacy."

"Is there anywhere in this hell that is private?" Raven questioned her.

"I know of a place," _Tara_ replied. "I'll show it to you—and then you can talk about whatever it is you came here for in the first place."

CCCCCCCCCCCCCC

The two entered a small-enclosed classroom towards the center of the complex. There were solid walls on all four sides, and just one way to enter through.

"This is one of the more underused offices that I discovered a while back when I was trying to find my own private place in this school," _Tara _informed Raven as she closed the door behind them. "I'm sure you're wondering why I needed a private place in this school in the first place."

"That depends on certain things," Raven remarked. "Are you _really _the same Terra we all saw end up imprisoned in stone after the volcanic eruption was put to a halt?"

"Yes—and no," _Tara _replied. "Physically,_ mentally—_ I am that same girl you all knew. But—in a way—I'm also not that same girl anymore."

"What do you mean by that?" Raven asked her.

"Look—I can't go back to being that same Terra that I once was. I hurt too many people, and I just can't be someone from that past and expect to move on," _Tara_ took a seat in a chair towards the center of the room. "If I become that girl again—I also take back the powers that came with it, and I can't accept that. I don't want those powers anymore—I just want to live without them, be normal without them."

"What about Beast Boy? Don't you—even this new you—still care about him in some way?" Raven asked her. "He was pretty torn up by how you wouldn't even acknowledge knowing him back when he first told us he confronted you—and I know for a fact that he still feels torn up inside from losing you. I've witnessed that—it was pretty painful to have to see."

"Is Beast Boy the reason you went through all this just to confront me?" Tara questioned her.

"Actually—yes," Raven murmured. "He was the only reason I was willing to sacrifice my dignity to help him out when he was down. He needed answers—and I was willing to go through whatever I needed to retrieve them."

"I saw him suffering too," _Tara _stated simply. "I witnessed him breaking after one of you guys' missions one time. I couldn't help but feel it was connected to me somehow when I saw him angrily storm off."

"Why didn't you just confront him if you felt it might be somehow connected to you?" Raven questioned her. "Why were you more willing to let him suffer instead?"

"Because—I can't have him in my life anymore!" _Tara _cried. "He's a part of that past I can't go back to—and if I did confront him—told him I am Terra—I'd probably only end up hurting him again. Maybe not quite like last time—but I don't think I can just pick up the pieces and start over when there's too much baggage."

"If you can't go back to who you were and be the way you were—with him—can't you _at least_ tell him straight to his face why you can't be the same Terra he remembers and fell in love with?" Raven asked her. "Don't you think you owe him at least an explanation?"

"That's something I'd really have to think about," _Tara_ told her. "Admitting who I am—even to him—might end up bringing me back to who I was—who I'm fighting so hard not to ever be again."

"I hope—for his sake—you'll _really _consider it," Raven replied. "I don't want to see him suffer because of you anymore. In order for him to move on—he needs an explanation from you."

"I saw you two the other day at the Cineplex," _Tara _stated. "You both looked like you were having fun—and he seemed like he was happy. I have to ask you this Raven—do you really care about him? Did you go through all this trouble to track me down—even lend yourself unwillingly to the humiliation Matthew has put you through—just to help him out of his melancholy? I know you enough to know you wouldn't do that kind of thing for just anyone, only those you really care for—those that you love."

Raven stared at her—too shocked for words. She didn't know how to reply to that—or if she even could.

"That's it—isn't it? You put you personal needs aside—practically willing to sacrifice your own privacy and safety in order to do something for him? I've heard what Matthew's been gloating about—sleeping with you—having photographs as proof—and I can only guess what he really did to you...was going to do to you. Those are some really nasty things to have to put up with just to help a friend out." _Tara _stood up again, looking at Raven directly. "_You _put up with this abuse to your persona because you actually love him. Just admit it—You did this all for Beast Boy because you love him."

"I—" Raven found herself speechless. She didn't know if she even had an explanation to her own actions as to why she'd gone that far to help out Beast Boy. She'd always told herself that it was because of concern—help out a friend—a friend the likes of Matt could never be—

_The type of friend Matt never could be_. Raven remembered how she'd been infatuated by him when she first met him. She also remembered how fast that had faded as she found it harder to trust him completely—to the point where she couldn't even trust him. She also remembered how Beast Boy had been the one she'd turned to when she needed to forget Matt—block out the uncertainty and stress Matt had left her with—

"What have I done?" Raven managed to murmur. She was on her knees, kneeling on the marble surface below her. _Tara _came right up besides her, looking her in the eye without judgment.

"You did something that wasn't logical for once," _Tara_ assured her. "There are just some things you can't think logically about."

"But how can you think I love him?" Raven asked her.

"Two reasons," _Tara_ stated. "One: what you went through to finally confront me, two—all the times I've seen you try to comfort him or do something with him in order to make him feel better. If there's anyone out there that knows him better than me—it's you."

"If I admit that I love him—will you at least give him the closure he deserves from you?" Raven asked her

"Of course."

"I never thought I could admit that I love him, I hated him for so long when we first met—I didn't think I could even get past just liking him as a friend," Raven stated. "We don't always see eye to eye on everything, and he used to irritate me a bit too much—"

"Yeah—I remember him telling me about that a long time ago," _Tara_ told her.

"I think Matt came very close to raping me that night he took my clothes to use for blackmail," Raven stated, embittered. "I don't know what caused me to black out that afternoon—but when I came to…" She fell silent for a moment. "I really risked my own safety for Beast Boy's sake. I allowed myself to be humiliated and almost be violated just for his sake. After all this, I just wish—"

"There was a way to get back at Matthew for using you like he did?" _Tara _suggested.

"Yeah," Raven said. "I wish I could just—banish him to another dimension or use my powers somehow to get even with him. But—if I did that—my dark side might relish it too much; I can't risk that—it might destroy me and reveal who I am in the process."

"I'll scare him straight—using my old powers." _Tara_ stated, her voice solemn. "But after this—I can never become this again. I can't go back to being Terra. Not when I'm living the life of Tara now."

"Before you do that though—do you think you can confront Beast Boy one last time?" Raven asked her. "Giving him closure might also help give you closure for yourself—and then you both can move on."

"You know—I kept telling myself that avoiding BB was the only way to keep me separate from my past, but now that you mention that concept—" _Tara_ found herself hesitating momentarily. "Maybe that was the thing that kept me from being able to completely move on. I _too_ need closure in this."

"Well—you did promise," Raven insisted. "I said that I love him, and you _did_ promise me if I did that—that you'd do what I wanted."

"Okay—a deal's a deal." _Tara_ helped Raven to her feet. "Did you plan to attend class today—or are you ready to ditch your Rachel alias for good?"

"I want to return to being just Raven permanently," Raven said. "I can't take being Rachel anymore. Come tomorrow morning, _Rachel_ is being transferred to another school district."

"I'll show you a way out where you won't be noticed by anyone," Tara told her.

"Thanks Terra," Raven replied thankfully.

"Raven—its Tara, not Terra," Tara corrected her. "It's always been Tara, and always will only be Tara."

"Whatever." Raven just sighed.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Beast Boy had returned to the tower after he'd reconciled with Lydia at the library. He no longer felt angered by the breakup between him and her. He understood it was nothing but a farce to begin with.

Lydia had admitted that she wasn't completely herself while they were going out, but he also had to admit that he wasn't completely true to himself when he was dating her either. Beast Boy told her how much she had reminded him of an old girlfriend—Terra, and that it was probably her resemblance to her that made it harder for him when Lydia had broken it off with him. He admitted to Lydia that he never really got over Terra, and that he had probably just been clinging to a memory when he chose to date Lydia in the first place.

Both left the library as friends, no hostilities left between the two of them. Instead he found himself more concerned about Raven as he headed back to the tower and waited up for her in the common room. He couldn't shake the sense that something bad had happened to her; He was hoping it wasn't as severe as he feared it could be.

When Raven did return, she was unusually garbed in a schoolgirl's uniform—with her hair pulled back in a way he'd never seen it before. She was shocked to see him as she entered, but also relieved.

"Okay—what's up with the uniform?" Beast Boy asked her curiously as he sat her down in the common room on the black sectional.

"I—signed up for classes at the local high school," Raven told him, reaching up to undo the ponytail in her hair. "I enrolled myself there as Rachel."

"What'd you do that for?" Beast Boy questioned.

"I did it—for you." Raven looked at him noticing he was looking back at her questioningly. "I went in search of Terra—because I thought confronting her might help you get some closure between the two of you."

"That's what's been going on with you lately?" Beast Boy exclaimed. "What about those issues at the library—that guy who kissed you while you were there the one time?"

"How did you—" Raven stared at him, clearly shocked. "Where did you learn about that? Did Star tell you about that?"

"No—I met up with Lydia there earlier—and she filled me in," Beast Boy told her. "So—is this guy the one you've been keeping secrets about? Are you seeing him or something?"

"Beast Boy—I was never actually seeing him," Raven told him. "He was for the most part just a study buddy who I was trying to get info from on Terra—since he said he knew her—or a girl that looked like her. " Her expression darkened. "The thing I was hiding from you—that I couldn't talk about before…it was about him. He was using me— and came very close to actually raping me. It turned out he just wanted to play around with me to have something to gloat about to his friends."

"So—that's what you were talking about when I heard you discussing something with Starfire about being unconscious and missing clothes," Beast Boy observed aloud. "It's funny how—when I began jumping to conclusions on what you two were talking about—I wasn't actually far off from the truth."

He looked at her, expression grim.

"When I learned from Lydia that she'd seen you kissing some guy—I kept thinking about that conversation between you and Star—it didn't settle well with me for some reason that you'd sounded troubled during that conversation, and it didn't make it any better that I kept thinking that guy ended up being forceful with you or something—" Beast Boy's eyes reflected the dread he'd felt thinking about that thought. "I guess I'm glad it didn't get that far, thankfully. I'd probably end up knocking him off the face of the planet if he'd really gotten that far with you."

"I hope that you'll appreciate all I went through to try and make you happy again," Raven told him. "I had to keep reminding myself—even as things started getting bad—that I was only doing this to help you—nothing else. I put my personal needs and safety at risk because I felt you needed closure to move on—so that you wouldn't have to continue to be in despair when it concerned you dating."

"Raven, I more than appreciate the sentiment," Beast Boy told her. "I should thank you for caring that much about me in order to make me happy after the breakup I had with Lydia soured."

"Are your issues with Lydia resolved, by the way?" Raven asked him.

"Yeah—we reconciled on good terms," Beast Boy replied. "It turned out that neither one of us was wholeheartedly into the relationship to begin with. She wasn't completely true to herself while we were dating, and it didn't help that I was clinging to the relationship only because she reminded me so much of Terra at the time. We weren't even dating each other for any real reasons. It would never have worked out."

"I'm glad you got that sorted out," Raven told him. "Now maybe you'll be open to the dating scene again."

"I'm not quite so sure about that," Beast Boy told her.

"Are you still having issues getting over Terra?" Raven exclaimed, looking at him.

"I still need my closure with Terra—but that's not what I'm referring to," Beast Boy told her. "I'm not interested in looking to date—not when I'm more interested in spending my time with you."

"So—do you think I look—goofy in this schoolgirl outfit?" Raven asked him. "After today—I won't be wearing it again, and this will be the last time you'll _ever _see me in it, so—your opinion?"

"Goofy? Nah—you look cute," Beast Boy commented.

"Uh—thanks," Raven blushed slightly. "Well—since it's a part of my Rachel identity—I probably won't be wearing this anymore. As of tomorrow, Rachel is no more; you will never have the chance to see that façade again."

"Speaking of you being Rachel…was that who that guy saw you as?" Beast Boy asked her. As an added note, "Who was the guy who tricked you—by the way?"

"He never got to know me as Raven—which I'm actually glad about," Raven told him. "Why are you curious about his name?"

"I just—want to know the name of the guy who was heartless enough to try and use you," Beast Boy told her. "Is it wrong for me to know that?"

"No," Raven stated. "His name is Matt—Matthew."

"If it makes you laugh—I can call him your door Matt," Beast Boy jested. She burst into laughter as his words registered in her mind. "The one you use to remove the grime from the bottom of you shoes with—walk all over when you need something to use as rant material. You know you want to just imagine him being the floor mat you can walk all over."

"Beast Boy—I think that might be the first joke of yours I really get—and appreciate," Raven told him as she tried to compose herself once again. "Thanks for that—I needed that."

"Glad I finally managed to get you to laugh at one of my jokes," Beast Boy replied.

"Okay, speaking of getting closure—Terra agreed to meet with so you could both get the closure you both need to move on," Raven told him. "She agreed to help me with my Matt mess by using her powers one last time to scare him before she returned to her new life for good—and I also had to bargain with her to agree to doing both."

"Okay—I'll meet with her," Beast Boy said. "Get the closure I need in this."

"I need to get out of this outfit," Raven stated. Beast Boy just nodded, and she got up.

As she was leaving the room, she stepped into the hall before the elevator, wondering to herself aloud, "I wonder if he'll ever realize what I had to do in order to reach a bargain with Terra? What I had to admit to in order to get her to agree to my terms?" She sighed, just as the elevator door opened—welcoming her.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

She was waiting at a table at the pizza parlor, garbed in something she never thought she'd ever wear again. It would be the last time—she'd discard the look after she was done with it this one last time.

This was the last time she'd ever be Terra—dressed as Terra, with the powers and persona of that identity of Terra. It was for Beast Boy's sake—and the sake of closure.

Terra wondered if Raven would mention anything about the details of their bargain to Beast Boy—or if she'd keep that to herself for all eternity. Terra was very sure Raven would be with Beast Boy when they arrived—that was also part of the agreement.

The two entered the parlor, Beast Boy being his usual self—and Raven being Raven, and not her façade _Rachel. _

Upon seeing her there—being the Terra he remembered—it stopped Beast Boy dead in his tracks, his mouth agape and him staring speechlessly.

"Terra?" Beast Boy managed after a long dumbfounded pause.

"One in the same, BB," Terra replied. She looked at him, smiling tragically. "In the flesh."

"Why—why did you pretend to be somebody else? Why were you pretending you didn't know me?" Beast Boy asked her, slightly demanding. "Didn't you know it hurt me when you pretended not to recognize me?"

"Beast Boy—I couldn't go back to being that girl you fell in love with—I couldn't go back to being Terra," Terra told him. "There's just too much baggage with that identity—and I'm not that girl anymore. In order for me to be able to move on—I have to put _Terra_ in the past—and that includes everything that _Terra _once knew and cared for." She gazed at him with solemn blue eyes. "I never stopped caring for you—but it's too painful for me to go back to the way things were—between us, living as Terra. I'm just a normal schoolgirl now—no earth shattering powers to worry about losing control of—just homework and worrying about if I'll get good enough grades to graduate and get into a good college." She looked at him with eyes hoping he'd understand from her perspective. "I'm Tara now—T-A-R-A, and that's who I'm going to be from now on. I hope you can understand—and let me go so we both can move on."

"I understand—Terra," Beast boy replied. "I understand that you can't go back to that life—to those powers. I just needed an explanation—so I could understand why you intentionally pretended not to know me in front of your friends. That's all I think I ever really needed—just an explanation."

"I'm glad you understand," Terra told him. She smiled, this time not tragically—but just normally.

"So that you don't have to ever be burdened by those powers again—I want you to let me handle this Matt guy for Raven so that you don't have to," Beast Boy told her. Terra looked at him, wide-eyed. Raven stared at him from the sidelines in astonishment. "I figure if you use your powers again—it'll be hard for you to turn back and go back to that normal life you want so much. Besides—this is my score to settle, you don't have to do that for me or her."

"Are you sure about that?" Terra asked him. Beast Boy just confirmed with a nod. She hugged him in response. "Thanks BB. That means a lot to me."

"Well…I guess this is goodbye," Beast Boy said regretfully as Terra stepped away from him.

"Yeah—I guess this is," Terra stated, her voice filled with remorse.

"Good bye, Terra," Beast Boy told her.

"Good bye—Beast Boy." Before she could turn to walk away, he noticed the tears streaming down Terra's face. She watched him silently for a few short moments longer, and then she turned and walked away, blending into the crowd until he couldn't make out where she was.

Beast Boy cast his eyes downward, only looking upward when he realized a hand was resting on his shoulder.

"If you need me, BB—I'm here for you," Raven told him reassuringly.

"Tell me what this Matt character look likes," Beast Boy told her. "I have something to settle between me and him in regards to you and what he did to you."

"You're really going to handle this?" Raven exclaimed. He just nodded. "Is there any way I could make you change your mind about this?"

"He humiliated you—and that's not acceptable," Beast Boy reminded her. "He needs to know that I won't allow him to get away with that. I need to do this for you—Raven, and there's nothing you could do to talk me out of it."

"Well—just don't kill him to get your point across," Raven warned him. "If you can promise me that—I'll tell you what he looks like."

"I promise Rae," Beast Boy told her. "I promise."

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Raven wasn't completely sure it was a good idea still to give Beast Boy the info about Matt, but she couldn't help but feel good about the fact that he wanted to vindicate her by confronting Matt. She didn't know at first what he planned to do—but he reassured her that he wouldn't go overboard.

Beast Boy located the house at the address Raven had hesitantly given him. She had mentioned a few other things to him about what Matt had done—including the rumors she'd heard circulating around about pictures she wasn't all too comfortable with Matt having in his possession. _That_ was something he needed to investigate—_and_ what he felt he needed to retrieve for her so that Matt would no longer have them when he didn't need them.

Since Matt was out still attending classes, the changeling made an uninvited entry into the home, morphing into the form of something small and unnoticeable to gain access to look around—find out if there were any photographs, and take them before the guy returned home. He wasn't sure if he was looking for prints or some digital proofs backed up on a hard drive somewhere, but he was going to cover all the bases—be as thorough as he could for Raven's sake.

The inside of the home was like most other suburban dwellings—a decently furnished living space, adequate kitchen, and a few bedrooms and extras.

He snuck silently from room to room, avoiding windows unless the shades were drawn. He checked the back room she had told him she had blacked out in, in search for anything he could deem useful. He noted the cot she had mentioned to him as he entered, as well as the desk nearby. He checked the drawers of the desk for proofs or a camera—digital or conventional. He checked the desktop and the shelves next to the desk—but came across nothing.

He moved onto the next bedroom located closest to that room. Sports posters were plastered on one wall, and—as an ironic contrast—the connecting wall had a historical poster framed under glass. Beast Boy wasn't too familiar with history, but he did know enough to recognize that it was relating to US history.

The rest of the room bragged of the usual teenage boy's effects: a single bed with coverings lacking design, wooden shelving showcasing memorabilia and other personal interests, and a small study desk with papers left unorganized and sprawled across its surface. Beast Boy figured this had to be Matt's room—Raven mentioned Matt had told her that he was living alone at his aunt's place—

Beast Boy began looking around for either of the two things he was searching for—prints or a computer with some possibly stored on its hard drive. He couldn't find a computer console or a monitor; he was starting to wonder if the guy even had a computer.

He searched behind stuff stashed on the shelving units for clues—nothing. He checked the desktop—under the disarray of papers sprawled across it to see if anything was hidden under them—just more papers. There was nothing in the drawers, nothing on the floor nearby. He was starting to feel frustrated, but understanding the mentality of a teenage boy himself, he knew not to expect things to be stashed in the most obvious of places.

He was pretty sure the guy had a computer stashed somewhere; almost everyone these days had one for one purpose or another. The trouble was just finding it. He checked under a few unorganized stacks of clothes—with no luck.

He then checked under the guy's bed. He found a shoebox stashed with two plastic storage units underneath it. His curiosity was sparked about its contents, he removed the shoebox from its place and set it on his lap. He took the lid off and set it aside, and was alarmed to find—stashed inside—the outfit he remembered seeing Raven in that afternoon he'd bumped into her before she'd left to _study_ with Matt. He was expecting to find the photographs stashed in with the clothes, but he had no such luck. Regardless, he wasn't about to put the contents of that shoebox back where he found them for Matthew to keep; he removed them from the shoebox and put the empty box back where it originally came from.

Just as he was returning it to where he found it, he noticed something long, flat, and gray underneath where the shoebox had originated. Curious, he reached for the sleek gray object and pulled it out. When he managed to get it out, he realized what he'd retrieved was a laptop

"I knew the guy had to have a computer stashed around here somewhere," Beast Boy said to himself. "I wonder if this is where he's got those pictures stored—" He got the laptop loaded up, waiting for it to completely boot up. He accessed the start panel, looking for any personal folders on the drive that contain the images he was looking for. Under the C drive, he located the "_my photos"_ directory, which he discovered contained a good gigabyte's worth of image files and folders within it.

Apparently the guy was something of an amateur photographer; he had several folders of catalogued photographs he'd taken on various occasions, arranged by dates taken and type of occasion. The collection dated back a while—a couple years even.

Beast Boy curiously searched through a few—just to see what kind of _photographer_ Matt tended to be. Most of the shots were fairly ordinary—scenery, friends, group shots, special occasions—nothing too out of the ordinary or all that disturbing. For some reason Beast Boy had been expecting to find a personal collection of porn contained in the guy's collection—but apparently the guy wasn't a complete pervert if he had normal teen photos comprising his collection.

He ceased his random searching and began his serious search. He checked the most recently dated folders to see if he could find what he was really looking for. The collection from a few days before proved fruitless; he moved to the next most recent one. Within that folder were shots of the guy in one of his classes, taking portrait shots and group shots.

He noticed there was one shot where Raven was seated at a desk, oblivious to being the subject of a photo shoot. She was dressed in the same uniform he'd seen her in before, with her hair pulled back in a similar manner. He noticed she looked troubled in it, with her head resting on her hand looking into the distance.

Within that same folder, he discovered another untitled folder. Puzzled, he clicked on it to access it, and was utterly shocked by its contents.

Severely contrasting with the rest of the collection, the sight of the images made him feel queasy. The rumors Raven had been telling him about hadn't been rumors—they'd been legit. He couldn't help but be sick just thinking that guy had managed to get these shots while she'd been unaware and out of it.

He took out a flash drive he'd brought with him, storing them on it for backup—and then wiped the folder's contents completely from the laptop's hard drive.

Considering that the photos he'd found were digital, Beast Boy went searching for the source—the digital camera they originated from. The guy had a couple of them stashed in one of the storage units under the bed. Beast Boy accessed them, looking through their memory for anything that matched those photos he'd uncovered. Two of the cameras had their memory wiped clean, while one camera had a few megabytes of footage on it. It was on this camera that he found those sickening photographs—and it was on that camera that he cleared them off its memory permanently.

Just as he was almost through with it—he discovered a piece of video footage on it he couldn't find himself able to ignore. The file was only a few minutes in length, but those few moments were the most revolting he'd ever dealt with. After he reluctantly stored a copy of the video file on his flash drive, he cleared it from the camera's memory like he had the photos just a few moments before.

He was afraid to show Raven the proof he'd uncovered, but he knew he would have to. She'd at least appreciate that he'd found the files—and permanently deleted them from Matt's collection for her.

Beast Boy put the flash drive away, then returning to the laptop to turn it off so he could put it away and rearrange everything to look like he'd never been there. He then left the room, morphed something small enough to not be noticed, but big enough to carry the stuff he was leaving with.

He exited through the back doggie door into the backyard, morphing into a bird of prey form built with enough strength to carry what he intended to take with him. He then took flight—and was out of there.

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When Beast Boy returned to the tower, he had the flash drive in one hand and the articles of Raven's missing garments in the other. Raven had been just waiting around in the common room and was there when he entered. He indicated his discoveries by holding them up so she could see. Her eyes widened in recognition.

"Was that all you found while you were there—or did you come across more?" Raven asked, voice tensed.

"No—it gets worse, I found more than this—and I'm sure you're _not _gonna be happy," Beast Boy replied. "That creep _did _have the photos he was boasting about that you overheard rumors about. They're pretty bad—but I managed to wipe them off his laptop's hard drive and his camera's memory. Unless he managed to make prints—he won't have any copies accessible to him." He handed over the garments to her. "It gets worse than that however. Apparently he had some video footage of you too. I watched it—and it was more than I could stomach."

Raven blanched, completely in shock and horror.

"Was there any proof of—did he—?" she struggled to speak. "Did the footage show anything that's more than I'm really aware of? Did he actually…"

"Fortunately for you—he focused more on how to undress you at that point then exactly what to do to you after he finished with that process," Beast Boy told her. "The footage is pretty raw and revealing, but compared to the alternative…it's not quite as extremely despicable as that option would've been."

"I'm probably going to regret asking this, but—do you think you could show me what you recovered from his hard drive and camera?" Raven asked him. "Even if I'll end up outraged by it—I _need _to see what exactly he did get of me."

"I'd take this to a private console if you're going to look at these," Beast Boy told her, handing over the flash drive. "You don't want to view these on a screen where the others might walk in and end up seeing it displayed accidentally."

"Thanks for retrieving these for me, BB," Raven told him gratefully. "It takes a lot off of my mind that you accomplished this for me."

"No problem," Beast Boy replied. "I'll confront the jerk later about these issues personally."

"BB, I—" Raven looked like she had something she wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't come out. He turned to acknowledge she was trying to speak.

"Were you saying something?" Beast Boy asked her.

"Uh—no," Raven recanted. "It's nothing."

"I'm going to go take it easy for a bit," Beast Boy told her. "I'll give you some time to view those things in privacy. That's not something I need to see again."

"Okay," Raven replied simply. He left her alone in the common room, holding the flash drive clutched in one fist


	15. 15: Stand By You

Chapter 15: Stand By You

Raven couldn't get over the sense of revulsion she felt when she managed to view the stuff Beast Boy had copied over onto the flash drive from Matt's computer hard drive. Beast Boy had been right when he'd stated it was hard to stomach. The photos were utterly humiliating and graphic—and she found it hard to look at them for long.

The video footage was much worse. She wasn't sure which she found more revolting: the video portion of him literally undressing her—or Matt's voiceover comments. Her blood was literally boiling; she would really have to keep it together if she ever ran into Matt ever again. She'd probably have to have someone with her just to restrain her from doing the unthinkable.

She really hated to have to tell anyone else about the footage, but—considering Starfire already knew about the predicament—she ended up ranting about it with her. She couldn't _show_ Starfire the proof—but she could talk to her about it.

"At least it's over with though," Raven spoke after she finished with her rant. "I finally got through to Terra—and she and Beast Boy got over their past issues and got the closure they both needed. It was a rough journey—and I made some sacrifices—but in the end, at least it worked out."

"Beast Boy really does intend to confront this Matt on these issues between Matt and you?" Starfire inquired.

"He won't let me tell him not to," Raven replied. She lay back against the surface of her bed, stretching out. "A part of me doesn't want him to have handle my responsibilities, but a part of me is glad he is." She sighed—looking up towards the ceiling—the dark hue of it drawing her in.

"That is understandable," Starfire told her. "Sometimes we all just appreciate it when another wants to willingly bear the weight of responsibility for us. We cannot bear that burden always on our own."

"It's not just that Star," Raven stated, sitting upwards again. "Throughout this whole mission, I started to realize that I've been falling in love with him—becoming more tolerant of his _quirks _and more appreciative of him being there when I found it harder and harder to rely on so many others. " She found herself collapsing against the bed's surface yet again. "The only times I've really been happy throughout this experience have been the times I spent doing something with him—from getting out to the cinema to escape my nightmares for an evening to those simple occasions where were just throwing rocks into the ocean. And the ironic thing about all this—I did all of those things with him to try and make _him happy_ again because I was concerned about him."

"In _love_?" Starfire exclaimed in surprise. Raven looked directly at her.

"Yeah—in love," Raven repeated. "I find it hard to believe myself. The hardest thing about it—I don't know if I should even tell him that, or just let it go. He's just getting closure on his long-time issues over Terra, Lydia and him just managed to reconcile their differences—this might have too much of an impact on him—and it might just not work."

"I believe you _should _tell him," Starfire informed her, catching Raven off guard. "Regardless of whether he shares the same sentiment or not—I am sure he would appreciate what all this has made you feel. This is a phenomena that is rarely expressed in you—and it is most endearing to comprehend such knowledge due to this fact."

"You know—you're probably right," Raven said, sighing deeply. "I'm not sure _when _I'll tell him, but eventually I _will _tell him."

"Just do not wait forever," Starfire reminded her. "It is never wise to wait forever. Believe me—I know."

"I won't Star," Raven stated. She rested her head gently against her bed's surface, closing her eyes.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCC\\CC

"I want you with me when I go to confront Matt this afternoon," Beast Boy informed Raven as he stood in the open doorway of her room. She suddenly became alert at the sound of his voice, realizing that she must have dozed off for a bit. Besides the changeling standing in the doorway, there wasn't anyone else there with her.

"Where did Starfire go?" Raven asked, trying to shake the grogginess away.

"She left when you fell asleep a little while ago," Beast Boy replied. "She told me you dozed off when you two were in the middle of a conversation."

"I don't even recall dozing off," Raven stated. She turned her attention directly to him, fully alert now. "Why do you need me there when you go to confront Matt?"

"It'll make it easier to confront him—that's why," Beast Boy told her. "Just put on one of those ensembles you put together for your _study dates _back before they got bad."

"How did you know—" Raven started to exclaim in response.

"Star told me about the collection—how you two went shopping especially for that purpose," Beast Boy told her. "I've got my own thing I'm gonna put on so as not to blow your cover with my own missteps. Plus—I kinda thought you looked cute in those little numbers when I bumped into you in them in the hallways."

"Uh—thanks," Raven mumbled, her face taking on a tint of rouge.

"I will wait downstairs while you get dressed," Beast Boy told her. "I don't want to be in the way while you're changing."

"I guess—I'll just get ready then—get this done with so I can put it in the past," Raven said.

''I'll be waiting downstairs, Raven." Beast Boy exited from the door, closing the door as he left for her. She got up, sighed, and began to get ready.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Raven didn't bother to put her hair back—or even mess with it. Even if it clashed with her ensemble, it was what established who she was. Beast Boy didn't even seem to notice as he and she had made their way to their destination.

Raven was nervous as they walked to where they were going; she didn't know what to expect from the confrontation—and she wasn't exactly prepared for the confrontation itself either. Beast Boy seemed confident, however, and that gave her enough confidence to keep her nerves from overtaking her.

Beast Boy rapped his fist on the front door, and then they waited. There wasn't a response right away; he ended up trying a second time. The second attempt got a result.

Matt was the one to answer the door, the same smug teen guy Raven remembered from class. Beast Boy was the first one he noticed—and apparently the only one he noticed for a time.

"Do I know you?" Matt answered in an annoyance-tinged tone.

"No," Beast Boy stated.

"Then—what are you doing here?" Matt stated in a tone hinted with even more annoyance then previously.

"I need to settle something with you," Beast Boy answered. "It has something to do with something you did to her." He indicated Raven then. Matt was just acknowledging her presence.

"I heard you got transferred to another school, Rachel," Matt noted. "Is that what really happened—or was it just the gossip that got to you?" He then turned his attention back to Beast Boy. "Look—I don't know what you think I've done to her that needs to be settled, but I've got other things I need to do."

"Dude—I know what you _really _did to her—and I'm not going to take it lightly and let you get away with you thinking it was something that was okay to do," Beast Boy declared.

Matt began to flare at his accusation.

"Hey man—what exactly do you think I did to her—and what proof do you have that I actually did anything to her that she didn't want?" Matt demanded in outrage.

"You tried to assault my girlfriend," Beast Boy retorted angrily. "She told me about it, and I've seen the photographic proof." Raven looked at him in shock—not because of his accusation, but what label he'd used for her. Matt just stared at him, infuriated by the accusation.

"_She's_ your girlfriend?" Matt exclaimed incredulously. "A girl—with a body like hers? Are you serious?"

"I'm dead serious," Beast Boy replied angrily. "Not all beautiful girls are dumb enough to date filthy types like you. And besides—if you _aren't_ guilty—how do you know what kind of body she has? It's not like she wore bikinis or anything when she was around you exactly."

"I told you—I didn't do anything to her that she didn't want. She's probably just making up false accusations to make it up to you," Matt told him flatly. "She's probably just too ashamed to admit to you she made a mistake."

"Dude—that is _so uncalled for!!_" Beast Boy shouted at him, infuriated. "I saw those photos you took of her when you drugged her, and I witnessed that piece of video footage you got while she was out of it. _That footage_ did not look like she consented to it to me. She was _unconscious_ for crying out loud!!"

"How did _you—"_ Matt had finally been cornered.

"I snuck into your house earlier, located your computer and camera where those files were stored, and saw them for myself," Beast Boy clarified for him. "—And then I wiped them from both the hard drive and your camera's memory so you wouldn't have them accessible to you anymore." He grabbed the collar of Matt's shirt in his fist angrily. "You should be glad I decided not to kick your sorry ass hard for this. What you did to her makes you pathetic. And she doesn't deserve the kind of treatment you gave her. She deserves much better."

"I'm taller than you—and probably stronger than you too," Matt pointed out. "Unless you pack some kind of hidden punch—I doubt you could overtake me."

"Oh _really?"_ Beast Boy growled. He made a quick shift to a much larger, more aggressive form, which still had humanistic characteristics. He breathed heavily and harshly in Matt's face while in that same form, until he felt a hand on his enlarged shoulder.

"Don't do it," He heard Raven tell him calmly. "Please don't resort to that."

Beast Boy shifted back into his usual form at her request. Matt's collar was still clutched in his fist. He was staring at the changeling in horror. Beast Boy let go of Matt's shirt, and Matt immediately started to back off.

"_What _are you?" Matt demanded. He was shaking, his eyes bulging out of their sockets. It was like he'd just sighted a monstrosity his mind wasn't equipped to comprehend. "_What do you want with me??"_

"I want you to apologize for attempting to _rape _her," Beast Boy demanded. "What you did to her frightened her more then almost anything else she's ever been through—and believe me—she's been through a lot, so I know that's _pretty bad._" His expression became even flintier. "I want you to also make sure that you clarify to all those you boasted to that she didn't willingly have sex with you—let them know nothing like that ever even happened."

"Okay—I admit I made a mistake with you, and I'm _sorry_," Matt spoke almost pleadingly to Raven. To Beast Boy, "If you promise to never confront me as that monstrosity again—I'll make it clear with my classmates that nothing really happened between me and her. I'll state it was just me gloating about something that never happened. Please—I beg you, don't change into that again, and I'll do whatever you want. I promise."

"Is that good enough for you?" Beast Boy asked Raven. She just nodded. "Okay—We've come to an agreement. If I hear that you've backed out of what you promised—" he let it hang.

"I won't," Matt confirmed.

"I'll make sure he keeps that promise." There, standing on the sidewalk observing them—was Terra…_Tara_. All three acknowledged her there in astonishment.

"I just had to make sure this was resolved before I cut the ties completely." Tara made her way up the walk. "I owe an old friend that much at least."

"It turns out the girl in your science class was the Tara I was looking for—Matt," Raven informed him. "We finally ran into each other by chance in the hallway, and made up for lost time. Too bad I ended up getting transferred elsewhere." She grinned at him. "Goodbye Matt—it was nice knowing you. Tara's going to be your watcher from now on—and you don't want to mess with her either. So you better be reformed—or you'll end up regretting it." She turned her attention to Terra. "Thanks for this—Terra." She then looked to Beast Boy. "Ready to leave?"

"Yeah, Rae," Beast Boy told her.

"Then let's go," Raven grabbed his hand and led him away with her. "Thanks again—_Tara._" The two of them continued on down the street, disappearing around a corner eventually.

Tara just watched them depart, smiling sadly.


	16. 16: Realization in the End

Chapter 16: Realization in the End

The mission was finally done. Raven never would have to deal with Matt again—or the cruel high school life filled with rumors and gossip she could never adjust to. She could put those painful memories in the past—and never relive them ever again.

Terra had finally allowed her to confront her; Beast Boy finally got his closure with the girl who had last left him with more questions then answers.

Raven chose to stay in the outfit when she returned to her room for a while longer. Her conscience wasn't insistently nagging her to change out—or wear what identified her as who she is. She oddly found herself comfortable in it for some reason yet to be explained.

When the two had returned, they had parted company to go their own way. Dinnertime was approaching, and both needed that time between to relax.

Raven had to wonder what Beast Boy had meant when he'd called her his girlfriend earlier while he'd been confronting Matthew. She couldn't help but be shocked by his use of that word for her; she wasn't sure if that was part of the confrontation—or if there was more to it—

It was probably about time she told Robin and Cyborg about her mission. They had both remained fairly oblivious to all that was going on; she was actually surprised they'd remained that way for so long—

Raven was certain Robin always wondered why she and Starfire had gone on that shopping spree; he'd soon be getting an explanation for that—

Raven kept coming back to the thought of what Beast Boy had called her in that confrontation—wondering to herself if that would make it even harder for her to confront him with what she needed to tell him.

She knew it couldn't be any harder than it was walking into a high school where the air was alive with gossip that was created solely just to humiliate her.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Life—and dinnertime—was interrupted by yet another mission, another villain looking to terrorize the city for their own pleasure.

Their target was the very same amateur thief they'd dealt with that almost had the misfortune of being taken out permanently by Beast Boy—the one who'd called himself—conveniently enough—Steel.

Apparently the thief had been released early—probably on good behavior. Also, apparently—he wasn't in there long enough to reform him and learn from his past mistakes. Steel apparently wanted to be a repeat offender—make a profession out of being a criminal.

The thief had chosen a different place to rob this time—he at least learned _something_ from his past mistake. Unfortunately—it was not enough though.

The alarm had gone off at a different bank branch from the one most local to them—a branch towards the east side of the city. When the team arrived on the scene, they found the bank customers and employees standing outside the small building. The door at the entryway had been dismantled from its hinges—the hinges melted like they'd been exposed to an extreme heat source.

Raven dislodged the door from the entryway and set it aside. Robin gave the order to move in. When they got inside, they saw that the alarm system had been compromised—the vault door melted down to a semi-liquid puddle on the floor.

The sound of rustling papers and clinking metal came from within. That was followed with the sound of bags being packed up, and the shuffling of metal-heeled shoes. The thief emerged shortly after that.

He was unsuspecting of any presences being there, watching him; apparently he thought he could make a clean getaway. Steel would have to learn it wasn't _that_ easy; the Teen Titans were the right ones to teach him that lesson.

Upon having his gaze meet up with the sight of the changeling who'd almost killed him in their last confrontation, Steel froze up, his prize bags held in tightly clenched fists and his eyes ever so widened in sheer and utter horror. Apparently there was one thing he _did _learn from his last venture in being a criminal—he recognized the one who'd almost been responsible for his demise.

Steel the thief dropped his prize bags, quaking in fear. He started to whimper.

"Please, _don't_ _kill me_," Steel the thief pleaded. "I will go peacefully. I don't want to go through the same terror as last time. I don't want to die this time."

"That sounds like a good deal," Cyborg stated. "What's making you give up so easily—the sight of my green friend?"

"I don't want to deal with his wrath ever again," the thief spoke in a quavering voice. "I'm too young to die like that. I want to live—I don't want to anger him enough again to have him almost kill me again."

"Hey BB—would you have done that again?" Cyborg asked his friend. "Or was that just a fluke?"

"Cy—it was just a fluke," Beast Boy assured him.

"Whatever it was—let's just finish the deal and take this thief off to where he belongs," Robin stated. "Star—me and you will show him off to the authorities. Cy, BB, Rae—you can call it a day and head back. We'll join you shortly—after we hand this guy over to the authorities."

"Will do," Cyborg replied. Turning towards his changeling teammate, "BB—I've been wondering why you lost control with that thief last time we confronted him. What exactly set you off back then?"

"I'll tell you when we get back to the tower," Beast Boy replied. "It's been a long day—and I just want to get home."

"I hear ya man," Cyborg said. "Hey Raven—how about you? Coming back with us, or are you going to disappear to elsewhere?"

"I'm going with you two," Raven replied. "I just want to get back—go home."

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

"I'm glad you guys thought to pick up a pizza on your way back from handing over that thief to the authorities," Cyborg said to Robin as he and Starfire set two boxes containing hot pizza in them down on the counter.

"It was getting close to dinnertime—and I'm sure nobody's up to preparing anything just after we got done with a mission," Robin replied. "We picked up two options—veggie lover's and meat lover's. I'm hoping that'll cover everyone's tastes without any complaints."

"I'm not complaining," Cyborg stated. He'd grabbed a few plates out of the cabinet, grabbing one for himself and setting the rest on the counter. He then made his way over to the meat-topped pizza's box, and started loading a couple slices from it onto his plate. The cheese stretched as he separated each slice from the pie, long strands he used his fingers to break the ties. "Just the way I like it—oozing and fresh."

Starfire grabbed a plate from the stack, taking a slice from each box. She applied a generous amount of mustard on top of each—slathering the yellow topping across each piece with a butter knife.

The other three each grabbed one slice apiece respectively, and then they all headed to the common room to sit and eat.

Robin held the remote, switching the TV into on mode. He flipped through the channels.

"Any preferences?" Robin asked his team.

"I'm not going to be particular," Raven said. "As long as it isn't disgusting or overly annoying."

"Looks like there's a special on about eighties music on VH1," Robin noted. "Any issues with that?"

"Nah—it's not too bad," Beast Boy replied.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you—has something been going on with you lately Beast Boy?" Robin asked him. "I've noticed you've been a bit off the past few weeks—since that incident you had with the thief we just rearrested this afternoon. Was there something that set you off or something?"

"Yeah, BB—you told me you'd get to explaining that when we got back to the tower," Cyborg noted. "Oh yeah—Raven, I also have noticed lately that you've been out more. Something up with you too?"

"I've been meaning to ask you more about that shopping trip you and Star went on a couple weeks back," Robin observed. "It struck me as odd because you've never been that interested in doing a shopping spree that was girls only before. Raven—mind if I ask if you're seeing someone or something?"

"No—I wasn't seeing anyone," Raven clarified.

"She was just trying to help me out after I had some issues with my breakup with Lydia," Beast Boy spoke up. "That's why I snapped during our first encounter with that thief from earlier—I wasn't holding myself together very well because of the shock."

"How'd you help him out with that?" Cyborg asked Raven. "And how does it tie into your new wardrobe?"

"I went in search for Terra," Raven stated. "I went to her school under the guise of a student to confront her—get her to explain to me why she couldn't just tell Beast Boy why she couldn't see him anymore. I figured he needed that closure to move on."

"Did you find Terra?" Robin asked her.

"Yes. She is indeed alive—and is the same girl Beast Boy was telling us about," Raven explained. "She wants to turn a new leaf—forget about her past mistakes and move on with a new life."

"How's she been doing all this time?" Cyborg asked.

"She's been living her new life—and seems to be happy with it," Raven replied.

"Did you get your closure, BB?" Robin asked him.

"Yeah—Terra and I finally got our issues sorted out, and I managed to reconcile with Lydia too." Beast Boy finished the last bite of his pizza. "It turns out neither Lydia or I were really being honest with each other. She wasn't being herself with me—and I was just clinging to her because she reminded me of Terra."

"Ya know—that girl _did_ look like Terra a bit," Cyborg noted.

"Beast Boy—are you now feeling happier?" Starfire asked him. "Has your closure brought you peace of mind at last?"

"Yeah Star—I'm happier," Beast Boy told her. "I've got peace of mind now."

"That's good to hear," Cyborg stated. "I was getting worried that the next time I whooped you at a video game—you'd go at me like you did Steel the thief a few weeks ago."

"I wouldn't do that to you—Cy," Beast Boy assured him. "No matter how angry I get—I know not to hurt a friend because of it."

"I'm thankful for that," Cyborg replied, sighing in relief.

"I'm getting another slice," Beast Boy stated.

"I'll go with you," Raven said.

"Can you grab a couple drinks on your way back?" Robin asked.

"Yeah—I can do that," Beast Boy said. He then headed to the kitchen for another slice of pizza—with Raven right beside him.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Later that evening after dinner, Beast Boy found himself out by the shore side, standing on the rocks that jutted outward from the incoming tides. The sun's light was just dying on the distant horizon, casting its amber and magenta blended rays out on the ripples of the placid sea.

He was just standing there, watching the sun as it died for yet another day. The moon was just being born upon the corner of the separate end of the horizon, its ivory surface reflecting the casting of the sun's dying rays. It would take life and thrive on its own once the sun's life ceased on the horizon. Which would be soon—Beast Boy knew. The hour was growing late.

He removed his shoes, sitting on a rock by the shoreline and setting his feet in the water. The water that surged around his ankles was chilly—yet refreshing.

"Are you still feeling a little depressed?" he turned to see Raven standing there, watching him. "I hope that's not it—after all I went through to try and help you get over that."

"I just find it's peaceful out here," Beast Boy told her. "Sometimes I just need to take a break from the tower noise and enjoy something natural." He looked out towards the sunset. "Like the sunset. I find it doesn't hurt my eyes as much as staring at the TV screen does after a long time."

"You—taking a break from the TV?" Raven sounded surprised. "I thought you'd be back to old habits once you got over that funk."

"I kind of lost a battle over the TV," Beast Boy admitted. "Robin wanted it—and I couldn't object.""

"Oh?" Raven joined him, removing her shoes like he had. "Why's that?"

"He and Starfire needed it for their alone time together," Beast Boy told her. "It was two to one—and it's not like I need it right now."

"Date night?" Raven asked him.

"Yeah—apparently." Beast Boy picked up a stone from the shore's bottom, the water surging around his fingers as he dug the pebble from the sand. He then lodged it back into the depths from where it came.

"So—I guess you can finally move on—see other girls, and fall in love with one of them," Raven stated as she let the breeze toss her hair around a bit. "Since you no longer have anything holding you back anymore—you can finally start dating again with a cleared conscience."

"I'm not ready to see anyone else—Raven," Beast Boy replied.

"Don't tell me all the trouble I went through was done in vain," Raven turned her gaze to him.

"Believe me—it wasn't." Beast Boy tossed another pebble out to sea, and then looked at her. "Star told me about what you told her before you dozed off earlier. About what I said earlier—while I was confronting Matt on you behalf…I meant it." His gaze met directly with hers. "Didn't I mention to you earlier that I was more interested in seeing you than anyone else?"

"Is that why you called me your girlfriend earlier?" Raven asked him.

"Yeah Rae—it is." Beast Boy bent over and dug another pebble out of the sand, drenching his hand in seawater. He extended his hand out to Raven. "Care to take a shot?"

"Sure." Raven took it from his grasp, levitating it just above her palm. She took a few moments before she sent it out towards the water. It ricocheted off the surface of the water, striking it twice more before sinking into the depths.

"So—is what Star told me how you _really_ feel?" Beast Boy asked her.

"What exactly did she tell you I said?" Raven asked him.

"That you think you might have fallen in love with me or something." Beast Boy looked at her. "So—have you?"

"Why did she tell you?" Raven questioned.

"She figured you wouldn't I guess," Beast Boy shrugged. "So—"

"Yes, she's right—I did say that, and…I have." Raven turned away to stare out at the sunset.

"How did you come to realize that—and why?" Beast Boy asked her.

"Terra made me realize it," Raven clarified. "My mission to help you out of your depression also made me realize that. Why…I don't know. Terra commented on it being something illogical—I wasn't out to do something logically or something." She looked away from the sunset but kept her eyes averted from his. "I was afraid to bring it up because I wasn't exactly sure how you'd take it—and I'm not that good with rejections and having my feelings hurt when I've always had to keep them guarded."

"Does it look like I'm taking it badly?" Beast Boy asked her.

"No," Raven stated. "But—how are you taking it?"

"Well." Raven felt Beast Boy's hand on her shoulder. "I enjoy our outings like this, and I am very grateful for all you put up with to find Terra and get me closure. I also love the fact that I finally managed to make you laugh—and not at me." She felt his fingers on her chin, drawing her eyes towards his by shifting her face with his hand. "I also think I might be in love with you as well."

Raven could feel her face growing warm, and was fairly certain there was an outward reaction visible to it on her face. It was masked by the wash of dying sunlight across her features, however.

She wasn't sure what kind of response he was expecting—or what kind of response to expect from him. He didn't show any response—or even react to make one himself. He just watched her, his eyes caught up with hers.

She could feel herself shifting—as did he in regards to himself. His hand had remained by her chin, finding itself now moving up further from there, shifting towards the side of her face.

He was leaning in closer to her; she leaned closer to him. Just as they were about to come in contact with each other, they both slipped off the rocks and into the water. Raven had somehow ended up underwater. When she resurfaced, she realized she was facing an equally drenched Beast Boy.

"I guess we—slipped up," Raven commented.

"Yeah—right into the ocean tides," Beast Boy agreed.

They both started laughing at their own misfortune, not really making any effort to get out of the surging waters even as it brought them to shivering slightly. Their laughter eventually ceased.

"You look like a drenched rat," Raven commented.

"You just looked drenched," Beast Boy replied. "Like a drenched sea maiden."

The rising and falling of the tide had them bobbing with it. Her gaze was on him, a smile forming on her sea drenched face. He watched her with his gaze upon her, noticing her ocean-drenched hair framed her face. She fought the tide to get closer to him.

The sun was fading on the horizon, the water now drawn with deep rouges all across its rippling surface. The two water bound souls were also awash in the same deep rouges.

She drew herself closer to him, fighting the tides with all she could muster to get close enough. She reached for his shoulders to stabilize herself in the water. She then drew herself closer to him until they were kissing.

Neither seemed to be bothered with the water, or its chilly temperature.

For that moment—neither really cared.

* * *

For those that didn't guess already (or just didn't realize until later chapters), I always intended for this to end up being BBRae. I just didn't want to overly announce it. I think a story works best if the conclusion isn't realized until the sory has progressed to that point.

Anyways, to all those that have kept up with this through the many chapters---or those that might stumble upon this in the future and comment then---thanks for taking the time to read over this. Hopefully this was enjoyable---and not a disappointment. I had fun with this story---and I sure as hell hope those that have put up with reading this have too at least.

~Mara


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